Utah visit for Chantal & Cord's wedding

I took Ezra and Scarlett to Utah for a couple weeks, with the main event being Chantal and Cord's wedding at the end of our trip. We stayed with Chris' mom, and we had planned to fill our days visiting family members and friends, but our first week in Utah I pretty much had to quarantine my little Ezra. When I took him to urgent care, the night before we flew out, they tested him for the flu and pneumonia, but he didn't have either, so they guessed at a possible whooping cough. (But I disagreed because his vaccine's should have protected him from that.) Either way, he got better without the prescribed antibiotics (he couldn't keep them down) and after several days of layin' low at Grandma's, he was over his fever and cough just in time to play outside for the first snow of our visit. We got lucky; it snowed just one time while we were there and it was barely enough to play in but just enough for my little Texan to have a grand time.

Thanks to some sharing cousins, Ezra was able to borrow everything he needed and Grandma completed his ensemble with plastic bags around his shoes. I thought I'd call them Texas snow boots. ;)

Ezra thought making snow angels was very fun, so we did it over and over. . . . until we about ran out of snow.


He thought this giant snow ball was the coolest and that I was a cool mom that day, . . . . . at least for an hour or so. ;)

Chantal did come over one Saturday afternoon, while my kiddos napped, so I could practice doing her hair and make-up for her wedding. I had no idea what I was doing, or how it would all come together, but I think we were both pleasantly surprised and then I felt better about being responsible for that part of her day. ;) It was fun to help my little sister. I did my older sisters' hair and make up for their weddings too, so I guess it is my calling in my family. I enjoy it, it is fun, but also a little stressful. I worry they won't like it, and it always takes longer than we think, but in the end if everyone is happy, I'm happy. It was good sister time. :)


Myself, my mom, Chantal, and my aunt Jen

I also got to sneak away one evening to go to Chantal's bridal shower, thrown by her fiance's aunt. It was so fun! It was one of the best, girl's night out I had had in a long time! These women gave good, solid marriage advice (every time she opened a gift, whoever gave the gift also gave one piece of marriage advice) and they had great laughter too. It was a great mix. I came away from it wanting to be a better wife.

Chris flew in Thursday night and we were able to leave our kiddos with Grandma Brough so we could attend Chantal's Endowment session at the Timpanogus temple. Chris and I were asked to be the witness couple which meant I got to sit next to her and my mom up front, so that was a tender little mercy gift. The feeling I had, sitting in the temple next to my sister and mother, was one I don't really have words for. It was just new and sweet. It felt so right, as if the Spirit was helping me remember, this is what it was all about, it was so clear and simple; families being together forever, linked in joy and love in this great eternal plan. It was a new joy. But then there was some sadness. I want everyone in my family to have this joy and peace that the gospel brings and I want us all to be together. Right now we are on our own paths and I know that is ok. That is just life and everyone chooses their own way.

That night I went home with Chantal to her cute apartment, after the dinner with Cord's family. It was fun, like we were having a sleep over. I am so grateful to my mother-in-law and Chris for taking care of Ezra and Scarlett so I could spend this time with my sister at her various wedding events. I wanted to be there for her.

In the morning, it was hair and make up time, and yes, it took longer than we had planned, but it all worked out and she looked absolutely beautiful. I think happiness, love, and joy do that to a woman though, and as my dad said, you can't go wrong when you are starting with a beautiful canvas.

When we weren't quite ready yet, and her fiance was there to pick her up to take her to the temple and he was helping her pack a few things, I knew he was so perfect for her. Just the way they work and talk together and how serving and patient and sweet he is with her. They are good for each other. There are so many of those "little things" where you can't help but see how much they love each other and care about each other's feelings. So much thoughtfulness and service and understanding.

Chris met me at the temple and there we joined my parents, some aunts and uncles, a few cousins, and my uncle, Patrick Kearon, sealed Chantal and Cord. How nice for them! It of course made me remember my sealing to Chris, and his father's words, and I had a few pulls on my heart strings as I remembered Monte's words and missed him. Happy memories though.

And here they are, Chantal and Cord Olsen, looking so very happy to be husband and wife!!


I copied a few pictures from Chantal's Facebook page. These pictures are just so much better than what I got with my camera. I had waited to post because I had hoped to get even more pictures from their photographer, to purchase for our family's use, but I didn't want to wait any longer to post so I'll just have to use what I got on my camera, bad lighting and all. ;)








Here is my Eskimo moment
It was pretty darn cold as we stood around the temple ground for pictures, and my aunt lent me her coat for a few warm minutes. I loved it! Then off we went to the luncheon and reception.




Chris' mother brought our kids down to us for the reception. We so appreciated her watching them for us that day and then driving them down to us!
Ezra thought it was pretty cool to sit at this fancy table and use this fancy glass. I remember as a kid thinking these glasses were so cool too. He did great, until somehow he got tangled in the table cloth or something and fell over with the chair, but he survived. All things considered, it wasn't too bad; only a short distraction. ;)





Ezra made good use of the dance floor with his cousin Landon and we were happy he had a room to run around in as well or else we never would have been able to stay as long as we did. My youngest brother Joseph and a few of my cousins were so cute together, they all played games and included the younger kids. So sweet.

Ring Around The Rosie

Landon, Ezra, Suzie, Joseph, Jena, Lizzie & Emma




Oh so cute!


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One (current!) week at a time!

The simple life.
There are many times when I can't help but think being a stay-at-home is the best job ever. Especially afternoons like this. The skies cleared and we had a little break of pleasant weather so I brought the kids outside after their naps and we sprawled out on a blanket in our front yard with some bubbles and a truck; the essentials. ;) I felt like my skin was telling me it had missed the sunshine and I loved being outside with my babes. Ezra and I looked for shapes in the clouds and then he was off chasing bubbles and his dump truck. Scarlett was brave and ventured onto our rough grass for the first time and she didn't even eat one leaf.

Thinking about it . . . . . before she braves the poky grass and unknown textures.
(I don't even walk barefoot on our grass here.)


. . . . and off she goes!





Why can't I crawl into the street mom?




Is he my little stud or what?!



I've taken to calling Scarlett "my little beauty" and "Scarly" lately.







Ezra runs with this truck like he is training to be a future olympic bob sledder.
Hmm. . . . . how long until that dump truck collides with Scarlett?

Not long.



Sorry dude, you can't launch your truck down the drive way into your little sister.



All ended happily when we finished our time outside with Ezra riding his bike and me pushing Scarlett on a scoot/ride along toy. Scarlett is growing up fast as she wants to do everything she sees her big brother do!

I must be acclimated to Texas now because I'm actually looking forward to summertime; hot days in the sun and water. :)

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Sticky rice is one of our dinner regulars. (Our version is a compromise of California brown rice and Japanese style white sticky rice.) Scarlett has long refused to be fed which means every dinner looks something like this. It is already so clear to me how different it will be with each child because this almost never happened with Ezra. He wouldn't even have food on his face hardly. Since he was my only child I could sit and patiently feed him every bite and he let me and really didn't like getting food on himself. Clearly, Scarlett is different. :)



Hard to refuse that sweet, little face!


It is not my favorite though when she grabs her little fists full of food and then rubs them in her hair and down her neck. And she does it just to rile me. Look at those eyes, just waiting for my reaction.

"What mom? Oh, did you not want me to put the rice all in my hair and on the floor?" :)

"But I'm so cute so it is all right, right?"

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While I had looked forward to Spring Break, thinking Chris would actually have a few days home with us, he ended up coming home at 9pm all week, as he had to catch up on work during his break from school. But, we did have a fun weekend! Our friends, Matt and Sharon Gosney, drove down from Tulsa to visit us! Yay! I think Ezra was just as happy as we were to have them visit. I worry sometimes about my talkative and outgoing Ezra being a little too much for some people, but Matt and Sharon put me at ease. It always warms a mother's heart when other people are not only kind, but know how to respond to their child. (I think I could be a lot better with other people's kids, so I especially admire this talent in others.) Our kids thought they were great and didn't want them to leave either.

Matt and Sharon are expecting their first child, a boy, and we couldn't be more happy and excited for them. I enjoyed getting to talk all things baby with Sharon. We spent a few hours shopping for a few baby essentials at Babies R Us on Saturday and then we got a sitter and went to a scrumptious dinner at Cool River Cafe. Oh that place is so good. They are foodies, so it was fun to eat and talk food with people that care as much about their food as we do, probably even more right now. We dream of traveling places and eating good food as we go. I have my phases where I fall out of love with cooking, but after this weekend I'm ready to get back into it.

We were sad to see them leave on Sunday but appreciated that they would drive all the way down from Tulsa just to visit us! We loved having them!

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Woohoo! I did it! I took pictures and blogged them within less than a week!
So now I know it is possible. Maybe, just maybe I can do this blogging thing. Mostly what takes me so long is downloading and organizing months of pictures and by the time I'm done with that, I don't want to stay up any longer to actually post them and blog! So here I go, one week at a time, and just last week. (It is so hard to not go back to all the previous events though, ah!) I figure working with family pictures can be an ok Sunday night activity after my kids are in bed. Chris is on his laptop doing things for his calling anyway, so this way we can at least spend some time sitting next to each other, which is a rarity.

Life is good, we just don't have as much together time as I had imagined our family having when I had naively imagined my future family life when I married a boy from small-town-Utah. I had no idea Chris would leave the small town of Brigham City, leaving the family business with his brothers and the blessed 5 minute commute, to live in Texas, starting two new companies, in two separate towns. I never would have guessed he would go back to school full time to get a PhD in pharmaceutics, requiring leaving for class before 7 am, 5 days a week, and many late nights of studying complexities of DNA and chemistry, etc., while still working for the two start-up companies, while trying his best to serve as Elder's Quorum president, and while in the time of having babies. These are all good things. All blessings. My husband is doing all that he can in so many areas of his life, and he is just exhausted. I know he loves me and would like things to be different, more hours in the day, but I also know that what he needs most right now is to sleep and not have pressure or stress added to his load. So we are in that phase. We fit in what we can and count our blessings. :)

I need to remind myself to woman up sometimes, remember how to be independent, and when I want to think of my needs, instead I need to turn my heart to taking better care of him and supporting him. (That great quote comes to mind, that Julie Beck gave a few conferences back, from Eliza Snow, saying woman need to not be babies, lol.) The hardest thing with Chris' schedule is for my little Ezra, as he starts the day crying when he realizes his daddy has left before he woke up, and misses his daddy so much when he goes to sleep before he comes home. This is the norm, as it has been for most of Ezra's life. But I know this will not always be the case. I just have this calm within that tells me it will change some day. Not that we aren't blessed and happy now, but I do long for the simple blessings of having family prayer with every member there, every morning and every night. I dream of having family dinner at the table with daddy every night, or at least more nights than not, any nights during the week! I think it will happen. It is our family goal. Chris knows his kids will need him home at night when they are in school; we especially want to give our children that strength that comes from having mom and dad home every night and family dinners together, family prayers, etc. Of course I still pray and we obviously have dinners without Chris, but it is different. Ezra needs his daddy more than I think I will ever understand, and after years of doing this, I'm starting to feel I need his daddy here too.

I appreciate learning from other women; how they do it. Everyone is busy and wants more of something. I appreciate talking to strong, positive women. It gives me strength. I recently asked my mother-in-law how she did it with her young children and her husband gone so much for a phase, and the main message I got out of our conversation was that times were different. The simple life is where it's at and how it is happily done! I think that is why I have heard many mentions of simplifying life and not letting too many activities clutter our time, over the pulpit of General Conferences lately. My mother-in-law said she could send her kids out to play for hours, so I think that is a huge difference. We don't feel it is safe or allowed to send our children out to play for hours in the yard or neighborhood, plus they are young, so instead we keep them in our house and feel the responsibility to constantly entertain and then take out for various activities. My mother-in-law, and I believe most women of that generation, weren't running their kids somewhere every day, let alone various places in one day. Kids simply played outside and that is when moms cleaned and cooked and sewed I bet. There also wasn't this pressure to keep up with some list of things one must do to show they were a good mom. Plus the obvious missing distractions of all things doing with the internet. So I hope to simplify, slow down, and therefor enjoy this phase more without feeling behind all the time. I am enjoying this phase, but I think I could enjoy it more if I could remove this pressure I feel. Why do I feel behind? Who is telling me I am behind? I'm learning it is ok, and doesn't mean I am not as good a mother, if we aren't doing as many activities or cool crafts and outings as some appear to be doing. We do what we can. Everyone is different and that just needs to be ok.

I know this is all so normal and so many families have this phase of husbands in school and super busy and exhausted. I just didn't expect this PhD phase, especially after the years of Chris working Saturdays, holidays, late nights and months of travel at a time every year. So here we are now, coming up on 8 years of married life together with Chris having had this consuming work schedule for most of our marriage, to the point where it has even caused him to be depressed in the past, and now he is in his first year of getting a PhD. Oh patience I am learning. I thought I would never experience my husband in school, ha ha. Maybe it would be easier if we lived in BYU married housing for example, surrounded by other families with the husbands always gone, school and work full time, instead of in my ward where it seems so many husbands work from home or come home every night at 5:30. I know, I know, don't compare.

Comparison is the thief of happiness. I've never really struggled with caring about what other people have or comparing myself to others before, and maybe I got prideful and thought that would never be a temptation for me. But then this temptation of comparing husband's home hours snuck up on me. I understand why it is a sin. It just does not lead to happiness to want what someone else has, even if it is something seemingly innocent like wanting your husband to have a different schedule, lol. I get it! And yes, I am aware that no one really knows what goes on in someone else's home, and things always appear better than they are, etc. I know everyone is busy. If one person has a good work schedule, they probably have a more time consuming calling, struggles with health, finances, children, etc. Everyone has their things. I know. So I have said Chris is not the only one learning right now; it is a learning experience for all of us.

Gratitude and charity = happiness! :)
Prayer. Patience. Sweetness. :)
I have two wonderful children, life is good, so go make some fun!
(I've come up with quite a few of these simple mantra's lately, lol.)


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Blogging = Self Therapy

I wrote this blog entry back in September 2011. Our little family was going through a trying time. I waited to post it, hoping I would somehow blog all previous months and get caught up. But now that so much time has passed, I think I'll give up on that, at least for now, and just post every now and then. I do miss blogging. It is a tough choice though because I refuse to blog while my children are awake, and when they are asleep, I have more pressing things to do. But I realize I need the time to reflect. I may write more than some and I may be more personal and emotional than some, but for me, blogging is reflective and over all makes me feel more at peace because I can't help but reflect on my greatest blessings as I pour over the pictures I take of my beautiful children. Blogging helps me keep everything in perspective; the greatest purpose and joy of my life is what I do with my family and I can't help but feel motivated to be better.

So of all the blog entries I started in 2011 and haven't posted, this is where I wanted to start back up. Our trying time didn't pass as quickly as I had hoped. Nothing earth shattering, just our own little heart aches and learning opportunities that show us our weaknesses and stretch us. So it was good for me to read this and this is where I want to start blogging again. :)

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One of my friends posted a link to this article as her Facebook status one day. Being curious, I ended up reading this article. I just wanted to save and share a clip from it, just because I liked it. :)
(I put parts in bold for my benefit.)

"It's important to acknowledge the hard parts -- and I think we all do -- but why not focus more on the lovely and the beautiful? That positive attitude is a very common theme throughout all aspects of the Mormon faith." Enter the Mormon bloggers, with their picture-perfect catalog lives. It is possible to be happy, they seem to whisper. We love our homes. We love our husbands. -

Clearly, life for the Mormon wife is not all crafts and cupcakes. Even if it were, I seriously doubt that crafts and cupcakes are all that much fun when you do them all day, every day.

But the basic messages expressed in these blogs -- family is wonderful, life is meant to be enjoyed, celebrate the small things -- are still lovely. And if they help women like me envision a life in which marriage and motherhood could potentially be something other than a miserable, soul-destroying trap, I say, "Right on." -

Blogging is like selfish therapy and indulgence for me. I like writing my thoughts and reflecting. I worry sometimes that I think too much about challenges though. (Probably because I only blog once every few months when I need a pick-me-up, lol!) If I blogged more consistently, it would likely give a much more fair representation. I worry that I am too serious and that maybe I just need to lighten up and enjoy more. Maybe I write too much about challenges instead of the many joys. But then there is that criticism that people try to make their lives appear better than they really are? (Really?) Well I'm not trying to be anything but real. And I have made progress on caring less on how I may be judged or interpreted or whatever. Who cares what anyone thinks but my family and my Heavenly Father. Is it such a wrong thing to want to make life as beautiful and joyous as possible, which includes counting blessings? "Life is what we make of it, why make something mournful?" - anyone seen "Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile"? I really need to find that movie. Tangent.

I want to make a new effort to seek out and relish in the joys of life. The expression "Youth is wasted on the young" comes to mind. I don't want to look back with any regrets. I guess I'm learning that my own happiness needs to come from within myself. I can't give so much power to others. Maybe it has to do with expectations, like I'm waiting for a sign that everything is ok, or certain behaviors, and then I'll be happy? I'm in a phase where I am having to learn more mental and emotional self control. I find myself fighting to be happy sometimes, when (I think) loved ones give me reason to be less than. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations. Maybe I am a perfectionist. Maybe I just plain need to be more responsible for my own happiness and not put it in the hands of others. Gosh, just putting it into words makes me realize how stupid I am sometimes. What am I waiting for? It is up to me to make myself happy and don't need to wait for something from someone else. It is up to me to have peace, happiness and love within myself. I can make my own life beautiful and don't need to let that be decided or so influenced by others. I can love, and that is all I have control over; what I do, what I think, what I feel. I think most of the time I really am a happy person. I'm just having a weird last few weeks where I've had to "press forward" and normally it isn't such an effort. So I guess it is just one of those phases. We all have our ups and downs right? Well the downs are good because then they humble me and I get to remind myself of all the wonderful things I can do better and then before I know it, I'm up again. ;)
Blogging = self therapy.

I want to do my best to make my life and my family's life as beautiful and fun as I possibly can. I've come to accept that the hard things, the messy things, the unpleasant things will come to us plenty; we don't have to look for or create those things. So why not do my best to counter-act those by making life as beautiful and fun as it can possibly be? I can at least try and then try, try again. :) I want my children to know that I was "real" and able to discuss reality and not be in denial about things but I also hope that they will have many fun memories and know without a doubt that they were so wanted and loved. It is my hope that they will remember a house full of laughter and spontaneous fun as well as being taught responsibility, choice and accountability and all those other not so fun things that are yet essential while raising children.
Always seeking the right balance. Discipline and Compassion. Work and Play. Sacrifice and survival.
So here I go, continuing to try to be the wife and mother I want to be, and I need to be that woman, unconditionally of others' behavior, is what I am learning. ;)

Most of all I hope our home will be a refuge for my husband and children and all who enter. I hope I can help lighten their loads with cheer and faith . . . . . and not add to them with my own emotional baggage and selfish feelings. I want to be the ray of sunshine in their cloudy day, and well, lately I've been doing a bit of raining of my own and not brightening the days as I fully could. I hope to be a light to them of unwavering faith in our Savior Jesus Christ and therefor a grounded, steady, joyous person with proper perspective!

2 Nephi 31:20 "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."

I believe that counting blessings and having gratitude is essential. Always turns my frown upside down and makes life seem, well, more beautiful. :) An attitude of gratitude truly works wonders. I want to and hope to focus more on what is right and less on what isn't. The redirection of thought soothes me and I can feel how this change of heart and thought invites the spirit and then I can't help but feel peace and happiness. Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and wants to bless us.

I think happiness can be/is like faith; it is a choice, a perspective. It really can be that simple; to simply let go of everything that we are tempted to be unhappy about, and chose to be happy and loving! So this is my lesson lately, how to be that happy and loving person, even when I am tempted to have a selfish moment and (scream) what about my needs, wants, feelings? Again, unconditional. Be who I want to be, regardless of others' behavior. Phew, easier said than done, at least for me. So that seems to be what I need to work on. Let go of all selfishness, and be more charitable. Turn the other cheek, do more, have more faith. Charity seeketh not her own . . . . If anything, I've learned that thinking my selfish thoughts only leads me to more unhappiness. But the second I try harder to focus my thoughts to being grateful and loving those around me, I truly am happy. So simple. Everyone must already have this figured out. Maybe I'm the only one who struggles with such simplicity. So simple and yet so powerful.









Much to be grateful for.
I am humbled. . . . .
I guess I am human, and subject to human hormones, fatigue, emotions, selfish wants, etc., but I hope to be better so that I might always be of good cheer, as we are commanded to be after all. ;) Normally I am of good cheer, so these past few weeks have been humbling for me. It is ok though, I am learning compassion and empathy for others who struggle with this much more than I do. And really, it is ok to be humbled and to want to be better. It's all good. ;)

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