Utah Trip - 2010

It just wouldn't be fall without a visit to Utah!

Chris and I get homesick for Utah especially in the fall when the leaves change color and the weather turns cold and crisp . . . ah, the mountain air. This is also hunting season so we flew to Utah so Chris could have a few days to hunt with his brothers in the mountains he so dearly misses. And we thought it would be fun for Ezra to get to go trick-or-treating with his cousins in Utah. We also figured it was my last chance to visit friends and family in Utah before baby #2 arrived, making travel inevitably more complicated after that.

Chris and I were able to leave Ezra with Grandma Brough so we could go to the temple together. This always seems like such a treat. I appreciate the perspective I leave with every time I visit the temple.


That night we went up to the cabin and there was just enough snow to have a bit of fun. Chris took us for a short 4-wheeler ride and we got out and went for a little hike. Ezra thought it was very fun to throw snow balls and especially liked that we were encouraging it. He had a blast throwing snow balls at us.





We try to get the family together when we are visiting so we can see everyone, so most of the family came up to the cabin that Friday night for a casual dinner of crock-pot soups, visiting and games. Ezra had so much fun playing with all of his cousins and we of course appreciated everyone coming up so we could visit with them!



That Saturday we were able to celebrate Halloween and go trick-or-treating with cousins since hey, in Utah those crazy things happen. (Halloween was really on Sunday.) I was glad Ezra's lion costume was warm and that he was getting good use of it that cold night. (Most Halloweens in Austin still have weather in the 90's.) This was Ezra's first time going trick-or-treating to people's houses. (In the past we had stuck to trunk-or-treating in our church's parking lot.) He of course thought it was a great night out and had fun running from house with his cousins and got excited over every candy. The only part that made me nervous was the big steps at every front porch in the neighborhood we were in. It was a little drizzly so of course I worried about him slipping and tripping on his costume or something so I tried to keep up with him as best as I could, while dodging umbrellas and many little trick-or-treaters.



My little sister came up from Provo with one of her friends to go trick-or-treating with us. They were great help as each trick-or-treater in our group then had a big buddy to help them with crossing streets, staying safe, etc. I thought it was pretty cute that she wanted to spend her night with us and a bunch of little kids.

I sure love these two!
Could they be any cuter?!

Ezra's favorite candy was a "Poppywhop!" (Lollipop) Oh my goodness, to hear Ezra say "poppywhop" with the accompanying glee and jump of uncontainable excitement, is so adorable. We hope he holds on to the Ezra-version of this word for a while because we think it is so cute!

It wouldn't be a proper visit to Utah without a visit to Great Harvest Bread Company. I have an addiction to their raspberry, white-chocolate tea scones. So yummy. It is a good thing they don't make them at the Great Harvest in Austin because wheat can be hard on my system but a treat every now and then is fine. Ezra liked their pumpkin bread.


After meeting Chantal in Provo before she had to go to work, I took Ezra up Provo Canyon so we could go on a walk together. It was such a beautiful day and I wanted to be outside as much as we could. Ezra is always happy to be outside and to run around so I thought a walk up to Bridal Veil Falls would be fun.

My cute little buddy.
Ezra learned to appreciate the beautiful fall leaves during this trip. We would point out and talk about the various colors of the fall leaves and talk about how fun and pretty they were. By the end of our trip he would point to a tree of red leaves and say "Oh look mommy at the bootiful red leaves! They're berry bootiful. I'll go pick one for ya!" He would bring me leaves like one might pick and give flowers.

Chris had to fly back for work on Sunday night and I stayed through the next week, so Chris told me to take some pictures with the fall colors for him, and thus we have, my glamour shot on the Provo river, lol.
If I lived in this area I would love jogging along this trail!





Our little walk to the falls ended up being a few miles longer than I had anticipated. I parked in the wrong lot and I ended up carrying Ezra most of the way there and all of the way back. Such a long walk that Ezra actually fell asleep on my back! I couldn't believe it; I thought it was so funny that I had to take a picture of us. I was talking to him and he stopped answering me and then I heard him snoring. So there I was, a funny sight I'm sure with our jackets tied around my pregnant belly as I happily walked my snoring Ezra the 2 miles back to our car. I tell ya, I blame any weight gain on the Texas weather because being in the crisp Utah weather was invigorating and I felt like I had more energy than I had had in months!

We were able to visit with Sandi and Landon one day in Salt Lake. Ezra took a great nap in Landon's bed while he was at school and then he woke up to play when Landon got home. We took their two big dogs to the park and played there as well. Ezra had a blast with Landon, his cool toys, and of course, the big doggies. Then we went to dinner at where else, but Cafe Rio; another must during a visit to Utah.

We then spent the next two days with Ezra very sick. Seriously, we joked about it in the past, but there must really be something in the water when we visit Utah because every time we have visited, for the past few years, Ezra has gotten the same sickness, and only gotten it there. He stops eating, then stops drinking, gets lethargic, and then throws up and has the worst diarrhea. It wipes his system out. Then I throw up, but since I was pregnant this time, I couldn't tell if it was anything different since that was happening already. So that was sad, to lose some of our time to sickness, but it was ok. We were able to be mellow at home with grandma and grandpa Brough.

One evening I was able to make it out to do some Christmas and Birthday shopping for Chris and Ezra at my favorite store in Utah; Deseret Book. Every time I am in that store I see so many books I would like to read and admire the artwork, get ideas, etc. I also had a very exciting stop in a fabric store where I found fabric for Ezra's new big-boy room. I had shopped for the past few months for bedding for his new room and just hadn't found anything I liked or even fabric I liked so I had felt a little disappointed, so I was very excited when I just happened to come across some cute fabric that inspired me to make quilts for his new room. Crazy, I know, since I really do not sew, but I decided I really need to learn since I don't always like what is in the stores, might as well make what I like, so I might as well start learning now! I actually think learning to sew would be awesome since I often have very particular things in mind on how I want something to be and I often wish I could just make my curtains or bed skirt or pillows or blankets, and I especially would benefit from being able to alter clothes every now and then to make things more modest or fit better. So here's to being crazy and thinking I'm going to learn to sew! Ha! We'll see what happens.


Our last day there we visited Kami in Salt Lake and got to see her cute new home. Kami and I can talk for hours it seems so we just did not have enough time but I was glad we at least got to visit. Then we went to visit my aunt Jen who is only in Salt Lake for this one year so I was so glad I got the chance to visit her before she goes back to living abroad to wherever the church will send their family.


Ezra and I were both tired but I decided we had to take advantage of the opportunity to stop in to walk around Temple Square before we headed home, so on my drive back to Kaysville (where we were staying with Chris' parents) Ezra and I got out for a walk around Temple Square. First we admired the waterfalls around the Conference Center and then we went in to the Visitors Center to admire the paintings and Christus. I always enjoy walking those grounds and want my son to learn to feel the spirit of temples and the sacred ground they are on. It was also fun for him to see the pictures and statue of the Savior as we had simple conversation about him.



Ezra was excited to walk up the steps to the door but then a little sad when he realized he wasn't able to go in the temple, at least not yet. "But I want to go in" he said to me, with his sad, puppy dog eyes. So we talked about preparing for and getting older and wiser before going into this special building. I told him it was great that he wanted to go in, and Heavenly Father wanted him to go in, but that he needed to learn some things and grow a bit more first because it was a very special place. I encouraged him to remember that feeling and that some day he could go in when he was ready. Who knows what Ezra took from that day, but I simply wanted to share with my son some of the things I love about Utah, and that is a place I love.

I really enjoyed my time with Ezra, especially as I knew our one-on-one time together would be drawing to an end, and then hard to come by with the impending arrival of another child. I felt a lot of emotions as I thought about how things would change and wondered what the future had in store for our little family. I keep finding myself feeling reminded to enjoy and savor the time I am in because you never get that time back. Things will always change so make the most of every season!

To my sweet Ezra,
Please know that I love you and will always be grateful you were my first born. You are a great buddy and we have been on many great adventures together and I hope we have many more together. You truly bring joy and depth and love to my life. You inspire me to be better, to be more; I want our family to be together forever! I am grateful for you, the uniquely wonderful person you are. I am excited to see what you make of your life, but the hardest thing will be watching you go on to your own adventures. Please know I will always be here for you. You will always have a home in me. I love you more than you can know.

October 2010

Feeling really pregnant . . . . at only 28 weeks.

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I especially enjoyed General Conference this weekend! Some of my favorite talks:

-President Uchtdorf's "Of Things That Matter Most", oh how I felt my heart sing when I listened to his talk, and when I re-read and highlight and re-read it!

-Bishop Edgley's "Faith - the Choice Is Yours".
" . . . I wish to suggest a single choice - a choice of peace and protection and a choice that is appropriate for all. That choice is faith. Be aware that faith is not a free gift given without thought, desire, or effort. It does not come as the dew falls from Heaven. The Savior said, "Come unto me" (Matthew 11:28) and "Knock, and it shall be given you" (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs - come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism." This year has definitely been one with opportunities to better learn and understand the principle of faith and I am grateful for the blessings that come when we choose faith!

-Elder Christofferson's "Reflections on a Consecrated Life" - so much to ponder and improve upon. Oh to fully submit my will, yes, ever working on that.

***-President Monson's "The Divine Gift of Gratitude" - I have listened, re-listened, read, and re-read, and will continue to remind myself to try to better "cultivate within (my heart) an attitude of gratitude". I have truly experienced the divine blessings that come from striving to do so and realize so much of my life could have been happier if I had had more of an attitude of gratitude. It really can change your heart and your entire view of life, circumstance, challenges, self, etc. It has brought great peace and joy and light to my life.

It is hard to know sometimes how to balance feelings, reality, maybe needing to vent, but to always be grateful. So maybe if I was more grateful I wouldn't have the need to vent because I wouldn't be so bothered by something? And what about blogging - I want to have balance and "keep things real" so I include some challenges, but I don't want to be ungrateful or seem negative. I don't want my children to read this someday and think "Golly, mom was really a complainer" but life is also no walk in the park and that isn't doing my children any favors if they think my life was always peachy. I think it is helpful to know people go through things, we all have our challenges but hey, we can do it and just talking to other people sometimes really helps improve our perspective.

It saddens me when I hear women that have turned away from the church, blame the church for somehow giving them the message growing up that if they married a return missionary and got married in the temple that life would be fabulous and they would live blissfully forever ever after, and then when those women realized hey, life is hard, I'm not sure I like this, they blame the church for somehow getting them in their unhappy situation and so the church must be wrong. ? Well I couldn't disagree more. I personally see so many talks, articles, lessons, scriptures giving us guidance, counsel, warnings, formulas, plans, examples, and encouragement and support on how to achieve our "happily ever after". So I don't want my children to ever look back at their youth and recall only getting a misconception that life is always blissful, only to have a huge shock some day that life is yes hard sometimes. I want my children to know that yes, some things are hard, but that doesn't mean it is wrong or bad, and if we choose faith we are blessed with every aid we need to succeed in this life if we but do our part. I want my children to have faith and courage. I don't want them to be afraid of things that will be challenging. I want them to know they are never alone and they can always have support and help and that God loves them unconditionally. So while striving to keep a balance of reality and yet maintaining an attitude of gratitude, I reflect on my blogging. Maybe with more gratitude certain things wouldn't seem so hard? Maybe the mountain was really just a mole hill? Maybe I'll be quicker to laugh instead of to cry? ;) I'm not a "Mormon Mommy Blogger" trying to portray my life as if I live out of some catalog of blissful domesticity - that just isn't true for anyone, but I also hope to focus on the joyful, beautiful blessings of life, as small and simple or hugely wonderful as they may be. So I can't help but wonder how much of my blogging is my therapy to write about things that are challenging, and do I have an attitude of ingratitude? Or am I grateful and joyful and recording the joys and blessings in my life? Can there be an appropriate balance and way to journal challenges while cultivating a heart full of gratitude?

Anyway, I don't think this was President Monson's point, that was just my own tangent of self reflection, but regardless, when I heard this talk I realized I have been guilty of serious ingratitude and hope to change this about my character forever more. It saddens me to recall times of my life I may have seriously clouded by focusing on what was wrong instead of being grateful for the things that were right. "Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings." I had much to ponder and reflect on and realized I had much room for change. I also know that with all areas of progress, things take effort and time. "This requires conscious effort - at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude." Thus the reminder that we must endure and persevere. I may start my day ungrateful but I can always stop and try, try again. I love that we are only asked to keep trying . . . . . just don't give up and just keep trying, no matter how many times I fall, as long as I keep getting up and keep trying, I'll be ok. And I'm ok with that. I used to focus too much on how much I fell or how long I was down, but now I have just a bit more faith and I try to focus on more of the positive instead of the negative. How simple and yet how profound this counsel from our prophet has been for my family and me. Truly, when we have gratitude in our hearts it is easy to feel joyful and to be happy and filled with gratitude for our many blessings, and our burdens become light . . . "it unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God's love."

And that is why I blog about some of my favorite talks from General Conference, so that I will look back and remember how my heart felt when the Spirit touched me and whispered to me that this was something I could work on, and so I could remember to keep striving towards these goals, so that we may continue to progress and feel the peace that is available to us if we but seek and knock. Every conference I feel this way about various talks, but then as the months pass, they slowly start to fade, just in time to hear the next session of conference. Well I don't want to forget! I love the joy and support and encouragement I feel when I listen to and read conference talks.

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The big event this month:

Ezra turned 3!

We threw him his first birthday party and hosted it in our back yard. We had our friends' girls, Mackenzie (7) and Madison (4) staying with us at the time and they did a great job being helpful and supportive of Ezra's special day.

The Scene

We set up a little coaster slide, a pool we borrowed from a friend and filled with balls, a small slide for the younger party guests, and we rented a jumpy castle and slide.

We borrowed tables and folding chairs for the food and crafts. Our yard is so sloped that I'm still surprised a table didn't topple over. We had a few close calls but all remained in tact.

Dairy and Gluten-Free snacks that Ezra could eat - veggies, veggie chips, mozzarella cheese (I don't know why but apparently this cheese is processed differently so it doesn't bother him), gluten-free crackers, lunch meats, apples, watermelon and grapes. This is pretty much what Ezra eats every day for snacks and lunch; some sort of meat, a cheese stick, fruit, carrots and tomatoes, and a gluten-free cracker or snack if we happen to have one. And we had his favorite drinks, V8 Fruit Fusion juices, lemonade and orange juice.



The crafts were (surprisingly - to me) a hit! They got to decorate their favor/goody bags.




Sophie & Ezra
I love the look of serious concentration on their faces as they choose decorations for their bags.




My sweet friend Kristen and her daughter Cali, to whom we can thank for most of these fun pictures!















I found some gluten-free cake mix that actually tasted good and used a couple of frosting recipes from other family favorites that just happened to be gluten and dairy free and then didn't add the food coloring and voila, Ezra-friendly cupcakes that we thought were very yummy.

Oh the excitement of cupcakes and candles, and Ezra knows this celebration is for him!

I love how happy Ezra looks! . . . . . so I had to post them all. :)









After Ezra blew out his candles we let all the kids decorate their cupcakes (drown in various sprinkles) to their heart's desire.

Having the party outside was a huge bonus; no stress over any mess. I think all our parties should be outside. ;)

When it was time for the party to be over we had the kids "hunt" for the party favors that I had scattered around the front yard. (Ezra loved hunting for Easter eggs this year and wanted to play with the plastic eggs all year so that gave me the idea to have a party favor hunt but no one sells plastic eggs in October. Maybe I'll remember this Easter to buy more eggs just for such fun later in the year.)




Thanks to all those who came and celebrated Ezra's birthday with us!

Ezra was a very happy birthday boy and Mackenzie and Madison were great friends! They were so supportive of him and were amazingly understanding as he got extra attention and new toys.

After our party guests left I changed into shorts and we all jumped and played outside to make the most of our rental hours of the jumpy house.

I had originaly planned to have this be a water party but changed it to dry activities when just a couple days before we started having cold mornings. So I had bought a bunch of squirt guns but didn't remember them until after the party so I brought them out for Ezra, Kenz and Madi. So at the end of the day when asking Ezra what his favorite part of the day was he said playing with the new car (that was one of the party favors), carrying around his treasure bag (party favor bag) with his new treasures from the day (some left over sparkly decorations, a birthday candle, scraps from the craft table, some crayons, and a paratrouper) and most of all, playing with "squeakers" - aka squirt guns and eating cupcakes. He had so much fun with these simple things that we didn't even open birthday presents that day. We figured there was no harm in letting him enjoy the simple things as long as he wanted.

Chris and I were just so happy and relieved that Ezra had been happy and enjoyed his party and his special day! I had fears of him crying all day from being overwhelmed or having to share or what not, but much to our delight he was a very content, happy little boy!

He had really wanted a party this year and had clearly asked us for one. When I asked him what he wanted (what made something a "party"?) he said "fwens, bwoons, birfday cars, and cake!" So then I asked him what friends he wanted to come and his reply was so cute. He said "Well mom, I really want Mickey and Mini to come, and Donald, and Daisy, and Goofy, . . . and Pluto because they're my friends and I love them. . . . . And Kenzie and Madi." So cute! Then I asked him what colors were his favorite for balloons and well, Ezra loves all colors these days, but especially blue, green, and orange, and purple . . . so we made sure to have plenty of balloons! I wish I'd thought to take a picture, but Ezra asked for balloons for his birthday more than anything else, so the night before his birthday, Chris and I blew up over 30 green and blue balloons and scattered them around the downstairs for him to wake up to. He loved it! There were balloons everywhere for weeks it seemed and they just made me smile. So there was Ezra's first birthday party. I don't think we'll do a party every year. It was more work and time and running around in prep than I had anticipated, though of course I loved doing it. It just seemed a little busy with having beein out of town, being pregnant, and having our two friends staying with us and their school schedules and activites and what not. So maybe it wouldn't have seemed so much prep, but then I realize, having Kenzie and Madi over just prepared me for what it will be like in the future when I'm planning a birthday party when we have more and older kids in school and after school activities. Life will only get busier I realize. Ah sigh. It is good to just enjoy the phase we are in while we are in it. :)


Ezra even liked picking up when it was time to clean up.

The rest of the weekend remained a birthday celebration with playing with Kenzie and Madi in the back yard and opening a few birthday presents each day (we figured he'd enjoy them more if we spread them out) and of course more birthday cake.













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Spontaneity

Usually I am a pretty planned and scheduled person - somewhat to a fault. (I try to remind myself to be flexible and that it is ok to change my plans - ha ha.) So can you imagine my surprise and disbelief when Chris comes home from work, while we are now staying at Kenzie and Madi's house (easier to get them to school and activities) and asks me how I feel about having a green car. ? "Well I'd have to see the color green" I say. "Why?" Well it just so happened that my (dream) vehicle was available at a dealership in Dallas for a significantly lower price since it was green, a less popular color and the dealership wanted it to sell so they lowered the price and called Chris.

So I went online to see the picture the dealership had posted and I think I actually
let some sound of excitement out. I loved it! I thought it looked great. I like neutral, earthy colors and as someone who doesn't like to be like everyone else (Black, Silver, White) and as someone who rarely washes my vehicle, I thought the color looked perfectly low maintenance and didn't know what the big deal was about this green. I really didn't care about the color, I couldn't believe we were actually talking about getting the vehicle. Just blogging about this brings back the butterflies and excitement. So I said I loved it, Chris called the dealership and we decided to drive to Dallas the next day to check it out and hopefully drive it home. Crazy! So yes, on our last day staying with Kenzie and Madi, we stuck them and Ezra in our car and drove up to Dallas to buy a car. They were such good sports. They watched a DVD on the way up and had fun playing on the lawn at the dealership with a few toys we had brought. I was 100% happy with the vehicle and Chris liked that it was certified and with a warranty, and for the right price. I know it is just a thing, and ya know, things aren't what matter in life, but a thing can still be pretty darn fun and enjoyable and I have to admit, I enjoy everything about this vehicle. It is smaller and I so appreciate that! Just getting in and out of the car, shutting the doors, driving in and out of my garage are all so more comfortable. I can easily lift Ezra in and out of the car, even when pregnant and his car-seat is in the middle. There aren't blind spots. I don't feel like I'm trying to hold back a train when I brake. I could go on and on, but I'll try to refrain . . . . I'm pretty sure I like it as much as one could possibly like a vehicle. Every time I drive it I enjoy it and I tell Chris every day that I love it and thank you.

So there it is, I blogged about buying a material thing.
So I don't know what that says about me, but what can I say, I'm a car person and I really like my car. Maybe I will laugh (or cringe) 20 years from now when I go back and read how excited I was about a vehicle. Maybe then, when I'm more mature and saintly, I won't get excited about cars anymore. If you knew how I was raised though, you'd understand that I was taught to appreciate cars and motorcycles and to pick up a Motor Trend magazine lying around the house for casual reading while eating my cereal or watching the latest super cross race on TV during dinner was just normal in our house. In fact, I think I'm going through withdrawals of having useless car facts in my mind.

So to try and make the long day in the car of more value to the kids, we stopped at the Waco Zoo on our way back from Dallas. I am a fan of the Waco Zoo. It is just the right size for small kids to enjoy and it is beautifully pathed and landscaped and you feel close to the animals with good visibility. Best of all, the kids loved it and I was happy they were happy. ;)



Chris and I thought this lion was the most amazingly beautiful lion we'd ever seen.
It was perfect.

These cute girls were so fun and were always up for anything!

Ezra is Kenzie's biggest fan. :)

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My little handsome. :)



Ezra was very excited for Halloween this year. He would get so excited every time he saw Halloween decorations, so we had to at least put out a couple pumpkins. (I wasn't going to since we were only in our house for about a week between staying at the Cooper's house with their girls and then flying to Utah that month.) I don't really have Halloween decor but with how much Ezra enjoyed seeing it everywhere else, I think I'll have to invest in some giant spiders, fake webbing, maybe lights, etc. I always wondered why some people put so much effort into such things, and now I am getting it; it's all for the kids! I know Ezra would enjoy it so much and he would make any efforts seem fun and worthwhile. It is so fun having an enthusiastic child make such things so celebrated and exciting.

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Enduring to the end of just 9 months sure seems long some days, lol.

When I say I feel pregnant, I'm not talking about my belly or feeling large, that's just a given part of the process that goes without saying and I actually don't care much about this time around because wow, there are so many worse things that go on! And sadly, exercise seems to actually make some of my challenges worse, so I've stopped trying to exercise, which in itself makes me a bit batty since I'm used to that regular outlet. Makes me realize how good Ezra's pregnancy really was. Other than throwing up and a little back pain, I was mostly fine. Not this pregnancy; I've gone from the girl that barely took Tylenol for a headache to now going on 4 prescriptions for the laundry list of pregnancy induced challenges that I only read about in the past, but now get to experience this time. The unmentionable discomforts. The things polite people don't talk about I guess. (So I don't know then if I have it bad or if other people just do a better job dealing with such torturous physical discomforts?) My nerves are about fried. So Ezra has had to really walk the line lately. He's been such a good, happy and cooperative child which I really appreciate because this little girl growing inside me is taking most of what little patience I've got these days.
(Pray, take a deep breath, smile, count your blessings, and try, try again - to not be grumpy that is. - My mantra these days.)


I know this is a blessing and that I should feel grateful so shame on me for succumbing to the physical miseries. So my guilt of ingratitude only compounds the physical pain and frazzled nerves and emotional tidal wave I'm riding. I'm excited for this child to come and I know with undeniable faith that she is supposed to be in our family and at this very time and that gives me comfort.

So anyway, I asked Chris to take a few pictures of me after church this day because instead of focusing on how I felt physically, I wanted to focus on the miracle of being "with child". It's hard to imagine now, but some day I'll look back at this time and miss it.



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The magic of dry ice and root beer.




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Just for fun:

Chris & Ezra

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All about Ezra

So that I don't forget, sometimes I make notes of things Ezra does or says, in my very old fashioned but oh so handy planner, so that when I get around to blogging (yes, months later) I will remember to record such things. So here are a few things that made me smile:

-I have recorded some of the challenging times, so I wanted to be sure to record some of the wonderful times too! Ezra has been an absolute joy! He has been so happy and enthusiastic and plain fun to have with me! He is my buddy. We have had a few moments where he has said "We're buddies mom. I'm your buddy mom. And we'll be best buddies forever and ever!" -Such a comment always stops me in my tracks and melts my heart and I do my best to let the moment imprint itself on my heart. Then I respond, "Yes, my sweet son, I do hope we are best buddies forever and ever, more than you know. I love you so much!" Oh, the moments that make it all so worth while!

-When Ezra is feeling particularly fond of someone, he wants to give them his most prized posession and he does it so seriously and as if he is giving you a treat that will light up your whole world; he will give his favorite hot wheel of the moment. Most often he runs to give his daddy one, right before he leaves for work or a meeting, but sometimes I get lucky and earn such a treat. It is the sweetest gesture from my little 3 year old as I can see him thinking about it, and then once he makes the decision to do it, he is so happy and enthusiastic and proud to give.

-Ezra loves his "squeakerrs". He especially likes playing with them in the shower. Oh just to hear the way he calls his squirt guns his "squeakerrs" makes me smile. Love it. And his favorite activities these days are playing at the sand park and playing with our front yard hose.

-"I wuv you too, mom."
Ah, sigh, melt my heart. These are far and few between, these words of love that I so appreciate from my son.

-"One, Two, . . . . . rubber pants! Rubber pants?!" -then Ezra bursts into laughter as he thinks he just told the funniest joke ever. Our inside joke . . . . that has yet to get old.

-Ezra is an agile climer and jumper and seems to love everything athletic these days; throwing, catching, bating, bowling, catching, etc.
He jumps off of everything he can, which of course makes me nervous, but so far he always pulls it off. He of course thinks he is invincible and has no fear. Everything is an exciting and exhilorating challenge.
He loves to run! Oh my, to see the pure glee on his face when he is running as fast as he can, teetering on the edge of control, reminds me of Dash Incredible, so we call him our little Dash.

-Ezra is a big boy now and doesn't care much for being rocked to sleep or much cuddling. So when I get the rare moment to indulge in such closeness with him, I just eat it up. Some times when I am putting him down for his nap he will want me to rock him and "sing the baby pie song. I wanna be your baby pie-ee" he will say. So then we sing together (slow at first) "Rock a by, don't you cry, momma does love her baby pie. Rock a by, don't you cry, momma does love her baby pie." (Then fast, silly rocking) "Rock a rock a rock a by, momma does love her baby pie, rock a rock a rock a by, momma does love her baby pie!" He just giggles and loves this.

One day I said I needed him to be a big boy about something, but he said he didn't want to be my big boy, because he wanted to be my baby pie, and that is where he gets that from. So I smile and say "That's ok. You'll always be my baby pie!"

-Oh how I have welcomed and enjoyed the new snuggly side of Ezra that has come out recently. He has always been very affectionate with his daddy (which has sometimes been hard for me) but it is a new development in our relationship that I have gotten to enjoy such treats from Ezra. Lately he has been very cuddly, wants to give me kisses and snuggle and wants me to hold him. He can probably sense that the baby is coming, who knows, I don't care, I just love this affection from my son because I always want to have such closeness with him but most of the time he wants his space, so I like it when he lets me in, and I have to admit, I feel a bit more secure and comforted now that daddy isn't the only one getting all the affection. So some nights he wants to hold me close and snuggle is face into me, but most nights he is my independant little boy that walks me to his bedroom door, tells me matter-of-factly to go out and that's that. "Go out now mom." Ok.

-We were getting ready to do something simple, like run an errand, and Ezra surprised me with a "Woo hoo. That sounds like fun, momma." But he said it matter-of-factly rather than really sounding excited. It was so funny. He has the words right but he hasn't quite learned the other forms of communication that go with the expression sometimes. It is cute. So every now and then I get a "Woo Hoo" from him about something and it always makes me laugh.

-As I am getting dressed and ready for the day, I sigh at my reflection disapprovingly as I wonder what to dress my ever expanding pregnant body in, tired of covering my broken out skin, what to do with my frazzled hair, tired eyes, puffy face, etc. and then my sweet little boy looks up from playing with his cars and says "You look handsome momma" to which I smile and laugh at the irony. I appreciate his sweet innocence as his young mind hasn't been tainted yet by what "the world" says is beautiful. My sweet little boy thinks I look handsome and tells me with sincere affection in his eyes so I'm not going to be the one to tell him differently. I will enjoy being handsome in my son's pure eyes while it lasts.

-Ezra went to his first dentist appointment and he did great. He completely cooperated and didn't get scared or seem bothered about anything. He was a very trusting and cooperative little patient and held perfectly still for his X-rays and what not. I was happily surprised with how awesome Ezra did. (Now if only every night when we brushed his teeth he was so cooperative. . . . j/k.) I am a much bigger baby when it comes to going to the dentist. I hate going! So I was relieved that Ezra had a great first experience with his dentist. Unlike me, I think he'll be excited to go to the dentist.

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October was some what of a whirl-wind for me and I did my best to enjoy the many fun events that took place. (Pregnancy makes me a bit more prone to stress and anxiety which I know is silly, because really, what am I so stressed about?! Sometimes it just feels like a physical anxiety that I can't control though. It is frustrating because I tell myself everything is great but my body doesn't always listen and agree.) I'm trying to be more in the moment and trying to worry and stress less about what is right around the corner. "Stop stressing and just start doing" is what I tell myself when the stress of busyness starts to creep in. It is really quite silly since what I feel busy with is really quite wonderful, so why let stress rob me of the enjoyment. So the highlights of October were General Conference, Kenzi and Madi staying with us for 11 days, Ezra's birthday and party, getting a new (used) vehicle, Visiting Teaching, a friend's birthday, helping with Enrichment's Super Saturday, getting a sitter to make a date night out of Stake Conference, New Pediatrician visit, Dentist for Ezra and me, more OB visits for me, visits to the library, trips to various parks, picking paint for Ezra's new bedroom, planning and attending Halloween parties, having new friends over for dinner, shopping for a new car-seat and stroller for baby since ours was re-called, and all while Chris was mostly out of town on business. I'm never quite sure how to reply when one of my girl friends who does not yet have children asks me what I do all day as a stay at home mom. I laugh because to say it just sounds silly probably and trivial. But all I know is this stay-at-home mom feels busy, but most of all happy to have such a full life with her little family and involvement with friends and church.

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We ended the month of October in Utah!