June 2010 Continued

June Rain

Love the pj's with the yellow rain boots.

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"No clothes on momma! No clothes on. Clothes off!"

We had just spent the morning at the sand park and Ezra and his stroller returned home covered in sand. Since it was hot I thought it would be fun to hose off rather than bring the mess inside, and we ended up playing with the hose for a while. Since Ezra was soon soaking wet, I decided to just strip him down outside and let him run around to dry off, before going into the house. The only problem is that our hose is in our front/side yard, and I realized it probably wasn't the best thing to let my cute little boy frolic naked in our front yard, even though he was thoroughly enjoying being so free and playing with the hose. So when I then tried to get him in the house and told him he needed to put clothes on, he was not happy with me, and wanted to run away from me. Can't you just imagine me, trying to not laugh as I chased my naked toddler down the sidewalk? Oh the funny moments we have. And he can run fast now, so now I'm faced with that situation where I am embarrassed to bust out into a full effort run but I start to worry I might not catch my child if I don't. It was all I could do to not die laughing at the humor of my child running away naked saying "No clothes momma. Clothes off. No clothes momma!" Luckily he ended up running down our side yard and couldn't get far. He scowled at me and wouldn't come away from the fence.
I really didn't want to pick him up and have a naked tantrum on my hands, so I tried to maintain a sense of humor and grabbed the camera that was out from our trip to the park. Ezra gave me a nice glare to go along with his modesty. Sometimes just taking a break from the battle, long enough just to snap a picture, reminds me to laugh instead of losing my patience. It took a lot of coaxing, but eventually I got my little boy inside. Some day when he is an awkward teenager, he won't be able to comprehend being so care-free and won't believe that I had to chase his naked buns down the street. He makes me laugh on a regular basis and I love it!


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Do we ever feel adequately prepared or skilled for our callings, however simple they may be?

I was released from Jr. Nursery. and am now the Relief Society pianist. The timing was good, as I was dealing with exhaustion and nausea in my first trimester and I worried I wasn't a very fun nursery leader. The thought of going to Sunday school with my husband (which has never happened in our marriage due to callings) and sitting in Relief Society sounded so lovely that I actually cried tears of gratitude after I accepted my new calling. I must need Relief Society or something because I felt this huge sense of gratitude. Maybe I needed to be among women more. Maybe I was so tired and sick with my pregnancy that sitting for a calling sounded lovely.

Being the pianist in Relief Society sounds like quite a cushy calling, that is if you can play the piano well and if all you have to do is show up and play. Well if only that was the case for me! I was happy to accept this new calling, but it was fully knowing it would be a challenge for me. I knew it would be embarrassing and humbling at times, if not all times. To even have a shot at being able to play, I need to know the hymns in advance, and I practice every day the previous week. I like the opportunity this gives me to have a reason to practice playing anything on the piano, but it does take a lot of time when I look at all the time I spend practicing. The sad part is that even with my efforts, I often can not play the hymns without playing a wrong note every now and then, or without dropping notes, and always just under tempo. Some measures I try to carry on with just my right hand, while my left hand scrambles to catch up and hopefully lands on the right notes. I just get so nervous that it is as if I can hardly see the notes or think straight. It is ridiculous how nervous and then confused I get. I would be 100 times more comfortable giving a talk in sacrament, baring my testimony, or singing a song, but for some reason accompanying is quite the challenge for me. It is so frustrating to know I can play these songs at home without any mistakes and I feel comfortable and I think I'm ready for Sunday, and then once I'm playing in Relief Society it's like I can hardly see the notes straight on the page.

I know this calling is a great opportunity for me to over come my nerves and to improve my ability, but I fear it is selfish because the women in Relief Society could have a much better pianist. We'll see how long they let me attempt this calling. I have passed my embarrassment and now simply feel bad for the sisters having to try to sing along as I try to accompany. Anyway. . . . I am also on the Enrichment planning committee so I am now fully involved in Relief Society. After 3 years of mostly primary callings and a stint teaching the Beehives, Relief Society is almost a foreign place to me, but it is nice to be among women and I appreciate the Relief Society lessons. I appreciate the friendship, examples, and support offered by the women in Relief Society.

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Ezra's first Kinder-tot dance (movement) class.


It sounded great, in theory. I imagined Ezra skipping in a circle with his classmates (all consisting of friends from our ward) and doing things like marching and skipping . . . . .and well , I'm not sure what I was expecting really, it just sounded fun. What I do know though is that I wasn't expecting my child to be the (only?) kid completely ignoring the teacher after no more than 5 minutes of class participation when he would then spend the rest of the class running full speed from one end of the room to the other. He would have the biggest grin on his face as he ran by me, just out of my reach, back and forth as fast as he could. He just wanted to run. He loves to run. He just looks so excited and happy, as if it is exhilarating to him to be almost out of control as he runs as fast as he can and almost slams into the wall or me. Wrong class, maybe we'll try soccer next time. ;) Is there track for toddlers?

This day was a busy day for Ezra! After his class we drove up to Temple to have lunch with Chris. The hope was that Ezra would sleep on the drive, but he only slept for 30 minutes. Of course. After a brief lunch with Chris we kept driving north to meet my sister Chantal and her boyfriend Jon at the Waco Zoo.

Ezra had recently watched "Finding Nemo" for the first time so it was very exciting to see Dori and Nemo at the zoo. ;)

Can you tell we are sisters? I think we look pretty different, but I guess we have the same chin and maybe the same hair color. . . . and same taste in large sunglasses. ;)

My incredibly kind little sister Chantal gave us the best gift; she agreed to come stay with Ezra for a week so Chris and I could go on a cruise! We wanted to go on one last hurrah with just the two of us before baby #2 arrived. It all came together very quickly and was quite spontaneous for us. Luckily for us, my sister Chantal had just graduated BYU and was available and willing to stay with Ezra and we knew she would be great with him. So in a matter of a few weeks we pulled it together and we were so excited! It also helped that her boyfriend is from Dallas, so she was able to fly into Dallas and visit him and his family before meeting up with us. It all worked out quite wonderfully.

We flew to Florida and went on a Princess cruise. We hadn't been on a Princess cruise since our honeymoon, so we kept calling this our second honeymoon cruise, but really it was our 6 year anniversary cruise and a "Wow, #2 is on the way and this may be our last chance!" - cruise.

When we were engaged, people would tell us to enjoy the newlywed phase because married life would only go downhill from there, but we totally disagree. We got along quite well in those beginning years, so it's not like we fought a lot or had serious issues, but we know and understand each other better now. I am more secure and content with our relationship. Chris has opened up more and communicates more freely with me. I understand him better and love him for who he is. I appreciate our differences and am humored by them, rather than being frustrated by them. We have even more trust and comfort and security in our marriage. Not that we didn't have those qualities as newly weds, but the test of time strengthens and deepens those bonds. I am grateful for my husband, his love, and commitment. I think we appreciate each other and try to show it and communicate it better. We have had some trying times, but those times gave us and showed us the strength that we have what it takes and the love for each other to make this marriage work and to cultivate and experience all the joy we seek in it. I do have faith in the plan of happiness; the plan for an eternal family.

I felt that we were more compatible travel companions than when we were first married. It was just purely enjoyable. No glitches, no problems, just enjoying each other and enjoying the contentment we felt in our relationship. We laughed, we were goofy, we talked, we had fun, we explored, we relaxed, we slept in, we ate, we watched movies under the stars, we swam in the ocean every day we could, and we connected on all the levels that fill my love tank. (The Five Love Languages refers to our love tank being full or not if we receive love in our "love language".) I am so grateful for this time we had together!

While it is so hard to leave our child, I am also a firm believer that the best gift we can give our child is a solid and loving marriage for him to grow up in. But leaving him is no easy thing! I worry about it a lot, and after I express every fear and worry to my husband I pray about it and ask for help to make good decisions for my child. So far we have felt that Ezra has done great and this has worked for our little family. I don't know if our next child will have different needs or a personality that wouldn't be able to handle it, but Chris and I both felt that this may be the last time we travel alone together in a long time, so we are glad we were able to. I don't think we will do it again any time soon, although I still think it would be nice to go on such a trip not pregnant. (Some how the two trips we have planned as a couple, I ended up pregnant on.) But maybe now our tanks are full enough to last us a while so that we will still feel full and content while traveling with our children. We honestly have fun with Ezra and want to take him places with us, so maybe it is simply that while our marriage has matured, so has our child, and we just don't feel the need to go on more trips without him. Or maybe I am kidding myself and I'll be ready to leave for another couple's adventure in a year or so, so ha, we'll just wait and see! It is a funny/if not impossible thing, trying to figure out how to balance self, marriage, and parenthood, then trying to balance relationships with extended family and friends, etc.
I am grateful to my sister and friends for their help with Ezra, without whom it would not have been possible for us to go. Really, I think watching some one's child with love is one of the most valuable, if not best gifts you can give a parent.

Our 6 year anniversary cruise (with our little stow-a-way at 14 weeks).

Our first stop was to Princess Cays
My glamour shot at 14 weeks pregnant.
Oh yea, feeling joy of being pregnant yet again, while having to sport swim attire on my vacation with my hubby. It was somewhat interesting trying to pack for this trip, especially when it came to trying to find a modest dress for the formal dinner nights that would accommodate my growing shape.

Honeymoon - 2004

6 Year Anniversary - 2010

I will say we probably enjoyed the food even more on this cruise than others. Since I was already sporting a bump, I figured might as well make the most of my situation and enjoy all the food! Which was only too fine with Chris because enjoying food is one of Chris' favorite aspects of cruising, especially on this Princess cruise!

Chris swimming laps in the bay at St. Maarten's.

6 Year Anniversary Cruise - 2010

Honeymoon - 2004

Snorkeling in St. Thomas was great! We swam with stingrays, turtles, the biggest schools of fish I've ever seen, crabs, and the best variety of colorful fish. The water was perfectly clear and calm for great visibility.
We ended up taking the same sail boat and company for the same snorkeling excursion we had taken on our honeymoon!

Is losing the ability to get a tan part of the aging process?

Part of embracing our differences is having a sense of humor. For example, take this picture. What do you see?

Chris sees a fence, which to him communicates "Stay away, do NOT enter! You must stay in the crowded, man-made cove that all tourists have been coralled into."

While I on the other hand, see an inviting path beckoning me to explore. "Come see what is around the corner! An uninhabited beach on this exotic island awaits you, come explore!"
When I teased Chris for being so hesitant to walk through the gate, he said it was because he was more obedient than me. I almost died laughing. I just thought it was so funny how different we looked at this simple gate. I think I will always remember this picture with a giggle; apparantly Chris is obedient and I am rebelious. Who knew a little white picket fence on a beach could be so telling.

Well we made it through. . . . . and lived to tell, ha! We explored, saw more conch shells than we could count, swam, and even talked with some other beach goers that were apparantly as "rebelious" as me for wanting to explore the less crowded beach. ;)

On a more sincere note, I truly feel we help each other be better individuals and that our differences are only a strength to our marriage as we learn from each other and gain broader perspectives. We really do have fun with our differences and we feel grateful that we are able to be so compatible while still having these different view points that make us the unique individuals we fell in love with. Some how we just work and we are working quite well. :)

Just for fun:
Honeymoon cruise, June 2004.

This year was full of growing opportunities for our marriage. Whether it was between us as a couple, obstacles that came our way in life, or challenges that arose in raising our son, we had a lot to learn. I have learned that growth usually requires some sort of trial and reaching greater depths as an individual usually requires some sort of pain. I just feel grateful that we learned from our trials, that they brought us closer and didn't break us. I am not afraid to admit trials and that they are simply part of this life, part of the plan, and really they can be true blessings. I think I was afraid to allow myself to admit something good could still be hard. Maybe I lacked faith. Maybe I was afraid to sound negative or ungrateful, but really, it is simply a fact of life that sometimes things are just plain hard and that is ok, that doesn't make them wrong, that is simply part of the plan. I rejoice that we are never alone and that God hears our prayers and is there to guide us in our righteous desires. Trials don't have to be so scary if we can endure them with diligence and faith and if we stay focused on our eternal goals. I am grateful for personal revelation and what a gift that has been to our family. I am able to look back at our past year of life and feel grateful for the opportunity it was for us to learn and grow, and to ultimately be brought closer. I am grateful for the love I receive from my husband and child, my Heavenly Father and Savior, and our kind friends and family members. To give love and be loved are truly life's greatest blessings. I am so grateful that my husband is committed to our eternal plan. I am grateful he is my husband and the father of my children. I am grateful to feel content and at peace with my life. Doesn't mean life is perfect by any means but what a difference I feel in simply having peace and contentment in my heart. Maybe that is one of the great blessings of following Heavenly Father's plan in faith. Doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road or that we will always be happy-go-lucky, but we will have peace in our hearts and the comfort and strength of knowing we are on the right path and that ultimately all is (will be) well.


"Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy went your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
'Tis better far for us to strive
Our useless cares from us to drive;
Do this, and joy your hearts will swell-
All is well! All is well!

Why Should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well!"

-Verses 1 & 2 of "Come, Come, Ye Saints" -LDS hymn book

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June 2010

Baby #2 is on her way!

Expected arrival: 12-27-2010

But who really knows, right?

Our family has a lot to look forward to this Christmas season!

Ezra seems to understand that a baby is coming, there is a baby in momma's tummy, but the baby is not coming till Christmas time. I'm half expecting him to wake up on Christmas morning asking where the baby is. I think Ezra will be a great older brother. He already practices with his little monkey (Ooh Ooh Ah Ah) wrapping it in a blanket and cuddling and rocking it. It is very cute to see him be so affectionate and sweet with his monkey, so I can only imagine how he'll be with his new baby sister when she arrives.

Chris and I are excited! We know this is the time for this baby to come and that she was no accident. It has been a different experience from when we were waiting for Ezra. Not bad, not better or worse, just different emotions, different experiences. It's true what they say, every pregnancy and every child will be different, from the timing, the emotions, the faith, the fears, the physical challenges, . . . . . . all sum up to a wonderful excitement regardless and we are grateful and excited for what the future holds for our growing family!
I love her already.


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May 2010

Ezra's favorite place to go these days.

What could be better in life than throwing rocks in the creek with dad
and looking for fish? :)
5.2.10

So I've had this camera and I haven't taken the time to experiment with it yet. So this was my first attempt to focus on a flower, attempting to have the back round less in focus.

Ha! I have no idea what I am doing. Well, at least the flower is in focus. Some day I'll learn but I know I have a long way to go!

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So the night before I was to pick up one of my friend's kids (because she was moving that morning) we were asked to come in to see the Stake President at 8:45 am. Hmmmm. . . . . so my friend that was moving, her husband had been our ward's Elder's Quorum president. So while my husband had planned on helping them move that morning, he was instead receiving the call to be the new Elder's Quorum president. Funny how things work some times. I was honestly surprised because my husband is out of town for work so often and would miss so many meetings I thought. But the Lord has a way of providing. I wasn't worried about him being gone more for this calling since he was already gone a lot for work, I was used to it. Gone is gone, and he might as well be out serving the Lord if he is going to be gone for one reason or the other. What has changed though is that Chris hasn't had to travel for work since he received this calling. Interesting how things can work out that way. So it is true, while we are asked to spend time away from our families to serve in our callings, we truly are blessed and the difference is made up in other ways where the blessings far outweigh the service. I have never known Chris to have the work schedule and flexibility that he has experienced since receiving this calling. He normally left before Ezra woke up, and came home long after he was in bed. We often ate dinner at 9pm. He traveled often. But lately, he has seen Ezra in the mornings before work, even having time to get him up and eat breakfast with him, and that time seems to really make a difference for Ezra. And he has made it home most nights before Ezra goes to bed! So not only has he not had to travel for work, he has seen his son almost every day and even worked from home here and there. Wow! For our family, this is a huge change and wonderful blessing.


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I have struggled with some health challenges for the last couple of years and eating for my blood type seems to really help and alleviate almost all symptoms. I was hobbling around my house with a cane because my hip hurt so bad, and I wanted to avoid most social situations and even started to not want to go to church because I was embarrassed to walk with a cane, but didn't want to be so obviously in pain and didn't think I could endure 3 hours of church, let alone nursery. It wasn't a fun time, but I know we all have our challenges and that's just part of life. So anyway, due to ever trying to figure out how to get rid of my arthritic symptoms and digestive challenges, restless leg keeping me awake at night, and now frequent migraines, I finally gave this eating for your blood type a try. A friend had told me about it a year ago or so, but it sounded a little hokey to me. But after only a week of strictly eating for my blood type, I was done with the cane and arthritic symptoms and my digestive issues were drastically improved. I was also sleeping better and waking up with more energy than I had had in years. Until I tried eating for my blood type, nothing had gotten rid of or improved my erythrocyte aggregation and all of the side effects that seemed to come with it. So I am a believer. So since I had had such positive results, I couldn't help but wonder if part of Ezra's freak outs were related to possible food allergies, since he is my child and my same blood type, I thought it was worth a try. So within a week of him being off wheat and dairy, (and other things, but those were the most drastic changes) he was a much happier kid. In fact, he was the fun, enjoyable little boy that I remembered having as my buddy before! He just seemed to feel better, it was like the dark cloud over him lifted and he was back to being my sweet Ezra. Weird. I don't know why it became an issue, but if we need to cut out wheat and dairy (and peanuts, corn, pork, and a few others) we will!
Hallelujah!

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Mackenzie and Madison came over for a sleep over! I thought it was cute how all three of them were so content to play with the train track. Build a track big enough and everyone is happy. ;)
5.19.10


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Ezra's favorite book lately has been Never Ever Shout In A Zoo. He loves to point out and name every single animal on every page, so we thought it would be fun to take him to the Austin Zoo. It is more of a facility for rescued exotic animals, but it was still fun for Ezra to see all of these animals, and so up close! I don't think they let you get as close to the animals at other Zoo's. This female lion felt so close, just on the other side of a chain link fence. She looked much bigger in person than she does in this picture, and she walked right up to us so we could get a close look and a feel for how big and strong she was. Fun.


One of my favorite animals; a Tiger!
Ezra got to feed some goats and sheep. They were pretty large and aggressive so he was a little nervous and would just put food on the fence ledge real quick and then back up. Mostly Chris did the feeding.

They had a funny little train that we rode around the grounds. Ezra thought it was great.

5.22.10

Like the fruit roll-up in the back round? I don't know why but I thought that was funny. This picture makes me smile. I guess because it is so us. Chris is the foundation, the calm strength that balances us. Ezra is always into something and barely holding still for a second. I'm always getting something for my child, and there's always a little bit of stickiness and dirt here and there. Always multi-tasking; trying to maintain closeness, trying to remember to capture fun family outings, always feeding my child, always cleaning up, trying to keep everyone happy . . . . . . it is wonderful. :)

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A few funny things from Ezra:

He has a cute little boy voice, skipping his "R's" and "L's" and what not, but one day he said as clear as could be:
"Mmmmm. Yuummy. This is delicious!"
So cute.

Ezra has shown a real interest in his friends lately and after a play date all I hear about the next day is him asking me over and over where that person is.

"Eva?! Eeeeeeva. Mom, where's Eva? Where's Eva?"

"I wanna go to Bubba's house. Where's Bubba? We going to Bubba's house now? I wanna go to Bubba's house. Bubba's howz."
And it is the way he says "house" that is so funny, it is more like "how-oose".
(nickname for Dallin)

"Wissa, where's Wissa? Wanna go to Wissa's house."
(Alyssa - just moved into a new house and her house seems to be a favorite lately)

"Wanna pway wif Kenzie. Wan Kenzie. Wan Kenzie. Whez Kenzie?"
(Mackenzie)

If Ezra hears me get an owie, or if I say something hurts, he comes over and says "I'll kiss it. I'll kiss it." And then I get a sweet little kiss.
Well it was really funny one day when I overheard Ezra get an owie and he said to himself "That's ok. Oh, I'll kiss it" and sure enough, he kissed his own owie.

He has now entered the band-aid phase. He went from being terrified of band-aids to now believing Band-aids make everything better, and really what makes band-aids so fun is taking them off and putting them back on again, or just taking them off. I find band-aids in the oddest of places and while finding a stray, used band-aid would once have grossed me out, it now makes me smile.

Ezra is such a tease!
He is a smiley, clever, flirty tease!
He must get it from his daddy because he loves to tease and drag everything out into some sort of game. He is already learning how to push my buttons just far enough and then how to turn on the charm to make me laugh and he gets away with being such a cute, rascal, tease sometimes! (He reminds me of the stories I've heard of his uncle Brian, but I've seen this in his grandpa, his daddy, and his uncle Joe. I think there is just something innate in Brough men, to push buttons and be a tease, while thinking they are so cute all the while.) So the trick is trying to balance this personality trait of his with the need to get him to respond sometimes without him always dragging everything out into his game. My funny little boy. I'm definitely a more no nonsense, get to the point type of person, so I can see how Ezra naturally gravitates to his daddy more because I think his daddy naturally responds better to this side of Ezra. The two of them get together and they can just play and laugh over the simplest game for hours! I'm glad they have each other, and I'm glad I have them.

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Piggy Piggy 5/22/10 at OneTrueMedia.com

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

April 2010

Ezra is Daddy's big helper.
He has to be right where his daddy is. Chris was very patient as Ezra was literally right under him as he installed curtain rods in our newly painted office.

Ezra was very intent on cleaning up the "mess" every time Chris drilled into the wall. He would start vacuuming up the dust before we ever asked him to. I wonder where he gets that from? :)


This room is coming along!

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Easter Sunday!


Having General Conference on Easter Sunday is always nice. We spent most of our time juggling Ezra but we were able to hear some nice talks. Thank goodness for DVR! We needed comfort food so we cooked a big dinner and invited a couple of families over to join us.

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Chris' parents flew in for a visit! We were able to do some fun outings while they were here. We drove down to Zilker park so Ezra could ride the Zilker Zephyr (their little train) and play at a different park. Ezra loves trains and sometimes just having a change of scenery is refreshing.




We got to have Eva join us for an afternoon of fun. Her mom was juggling a new baby, her husband was out of town and she was showing her house on the market so we were happy to have Eva come play with us!

We took them to Kiddie Acres for something different to do and they loved it! It was just perfect for their age. Eva was so sweet and cuddly so I enjoyed having a little girl since lately my busy boy wants nothing to do with me and is all about his daddy and his 2 yr. old independence.





Ezra's first Merry-Go-Round ride!




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Picking flowers with Grandma



Throwing sticks in the creek with Grandma


Ezra would throw them in and Grandma would fish them out.
Such a nice grandma.


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"My child will never . . . . . Oh I'll never . . . . . . "
Oh the funny statements I made before I ever had a child of my own when I was full of opinions and judgement! So little did I really know or understand. You know when you are in the grocery store, and you hear some kid screaming and throwing a fit and you think "I'm so glad that isn't my child. My child would never. . . " :) Well, it was my turn to experience the joy and burning spotlight as my child was that child, screaming at the top of his stubborn lungs in the grocery store. I just stayed calm and tried talking softly to him every now and then as I finished my grocery list. Well, he didn't let up. So by the time we were in the check out line, I had to get him out of the shopping cart and sit him on the ground by my feet because he was trying to hit me from the cart. So then he continued to sit at my feet, and continue to scream, while more people stared at us. So fun. Love those yummy mummy moments. As we walked to the car, more screaming. Then when we got in the car, Ezra just ramped it up as I tried to get him in his car seat. More fun. I was determined to not lose my cool, not raise my voice, but to be ever calm and yet firm and follow through in my actions. Ezra was just going crazy by the time we drove away and for some reason it was very intense in the close proximity of our car. I rolled down the windows, hoping some of the noise would lessen, but I could feel myself losing my cool as I had used up all my patience and calm in the grocery store, and I just had this dread that it would continue at home. I started to say something which stopped me, and I realized I didn't mean it in vain, I really meant it. I said "So help me . . . . ." and I paused and realized, I do need help, Heavenly Father help me! I don't want this to turn into another rage when we get home! At just that moment we were passing the elementary school on my street, so I turned into the parking lot, parked, got my screaming child out of the car, sat him on the curb, and calmly told him he could get back in the car when he stopped screaming. I then got back in my car, rolled down the window, and looked at him and waited. Sigh. Safety. He kept at it of course, a family on a walk made a detour, a lady drove by and chuckled, but mostly we were alone, and yet out in the open enough that Ezra was not as comfortable to rage as he would have been at home in our house. I was able to calm down, thoroughly relieved that I was gaining some patience back. Eventually Ezra calmed down to a more mild cry, I was able to talk to him and pick him up and hold him. I told him I loved him, and that his screaming hurt my ears. So now that he could talk, I could help him and he could get back in the car. :) We were saved. It could have gotten much worse at home, so I was glad it didn't. I'm sure the neighbors didn't appreciate the noise while it lasted, and probably wondered if some kid had just broken a leg or lost a limb, but I care less what other people think now. Sometimes life is just going to be loud.

So there it was, it had happened, I had been that parent, with that child, screaming in public, which I had foolishly thought we would never be. Once upon a time I had believed that if I had my child on a good sleep schedule, well fed, well entertained, an outpouring of love and affection, that my child would always be this happy child. Ha! I'm constantly being humbled. I imagine every parent is just doing their best, and sometimes, no matter how loving and sweet and prepared with snacks and toys you try to be for your child at the grocery store, they still have their own minds, own personalities, own agencies, and there is only so much you can do sometimes. Being a mother has been the most humbling experience of my life and I'm sure it will continue to be.




Being a mother is wonderful, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Most of the time, my child is my joy and makes me laugh, smile, and I feel a deeper love than I thought I was capable of. Being a mother has given me such purpose, strength, insight, and fulfillment. I have gained a greater testimony of the plan of salvation, prayer, the Priesthood, my Savior, and The Holy Ghost. I love my child!
But, all things in life have their opposition, and motherhood is clearly not a perfectly smooth and pleasant journey. Just as pregnancy and birth are quite uncomfortable and yet bring great rewards, so continues the discomfort and pain associated with motherhood, which ultimately, will bring the greatest reward. As Sister Beck said in her most recent General Conference address, we are all here to gain a mortal experience, and no one will escape the trials that are part of this experience. I have to remember that part of my child's earthly experience is to have his ups and downs, just as they are part of my learning experience. I wouldn't be helping him in any way by trying to prevent all opposition from his life, or in other words, trying to quickly quiet every tantrum. I have to remind myself to be strong and not give in! The volume of the protest does not equal the punishment. Though he screamed as if he were losing a limb, I really didn't do anything but not give in, and sit him on the curb. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't touch him other than lifting him in or out, but his scream was enough to make me question if I was the meanest mom in the world for not just giving in. Just as we all have to learn, my child will have to learn and experience his own trials and learning experiences and I can not deny him of those just for my comfort. I'm not going to give into the tantrums just to get him to stop screaming, because I know that is not what is right for either one of us in the long run. It is not my job to make his life the easiest it can be. He will have to learn some things that he won't like, and apparantly we are in a very loud phase of learning.

I share this because I view it as reality. Maybe every child reacts differently to their opposition, or discipline, but I want to offer my support and encouragment to other mothers trying to endure the noise of discipline. To not give our children limits and boundaries and to not discipline because it can be loud, embarassing, and can be flat out hard and exhausting, would be a terrible diservice to our children with life long consequences to their character. So here's to my fellow momma's; be strong, be of good cheer and great faith, our children will thank us some day! Strong spirits have been saved for this latter day and for them we must be strong to help them reach their potential. We can do it! We are not alone in our efforts. Heaven's aid is readily available if we but seek it.

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My Arkansas get-a-way!

Chris earned a free flight on Southwest and he gave it to me to use. He is so supportive. I told him he should used it, he was the one that earned it, but he wanted me to use it, to go have a few days of fun, to relax, and sleep. Plus, he had been traveling so much for work that he really just wanted to be home, so I decided I would use it to visit my girl friends in Arkansas! I flew into Oklahoma, rented a car, and made the beautiful drive to Centerton, Arkansas. It was strangely enjoyable to simply go on a drive by myself. I remembered that I like my alone time. I like the quiet, I like pondering and observing. I drove to Matt and Sharon Gosney's house and arrived just in time to have dinner with them before Matt had to take off for a meeting. The Gosney's were so gracious to let me stay with them and completely opened their home to me and made me feel very welcome and comfortable. Sharon and I spent the rest of the evening talking and then off to bed. Unfortunately, I had come down with some crazy stomach pains on the flight there and was not getting any better as the night progressed, so we didn't want to make it a late night, plus Sharon had to go to work the next morning.

I slept in until 9:30 that Friday morning! It was wonderfully indulgent. I don't think I stirred all night, which is rare for me, to sleep the night through. It was the best feeling to get some sleep! I took advantage of the Gosney's empty house since they were both at work and put in a new exercise DVD that I had brought with me. That might sound weird to some, but it was a luxury to be able to exercise uninterrupted as it is quite difficult to do any sort of exercise at home because Ezra is either under my feet, on top of me, running under and between my legs, jumping off my step, etc., which is all cute and fun, but can be stressful. I had slowly gotten out of exercising regulary for many reasons (too tired, too busy, too difficult with my little one in tow, not motivated, etc.) but had recently taken jogging back up with a friend at home, so I was motivated to get back into the habbit of regular exercise.

Then I got ready for the day and went over to see my friend Karis! When I walked into her house, this is what I saw:
Multitasking
I hadn't met her twins yet, so I was surprised how big they were already! Wow, I can't three little boys under the age of 3! I think my little boy can be a handful, but she has twins and an almost 3 year old!

We went out to lunch, then spent the rest of the day at her house, where her husband and Sharon and Matt later joined us for dinner. Later that night we girls went out for dessert and more girl talk.
Karis, Sharon & me, and some great cheesecake ;)

Saturday morning we had planned to participate in a walk for the cure, but we got rained out. Sharon and I headed out for some lunch and shopping. I ended up getting a migraine while we were shopping though so we had to leave in a hurry because the sooner I take something, the less sever it gets. But by the time I got to the store, I could barely see, think and form a stentence, felt nauseated, and my arms were numb from my elbos to my pinkies and my lips were tingling. Ugh. Hate migraines. They just ruin the day. I felt like such a party pooper and I hate being a burden, but Sharon was super nice and took great care of me. She got me some medicine and I basically lay down in the dark for the rest of the night. A few hours later Karis came over and we watched New Moon with her as it was newly released on rental and Karis had never seen it. Fun, carefree girl time. We talked and had fun hanging out. I wish these girls lived closer to me! They were so kind and gracious to host me and made my visit very fun! Thanks girls!!

Sunday came very quickly. I went to sacrament with them and then drove back to the airport and flew home. It was nice to visit but there's nothing like coming home, which is wherever my hubby and son are. They are my home and what matters most to me.


In one of the cute boutiques I went into with Sharon on Saturday, one of the salesmen was wearing a large silver whistle around his neck. I thought it was an odd accessory and asked him about it. He said it was for the whistle blowers. I had no idea what he was talking about, so he pointed me to where I could pick up a short journal/booklet by a display of whistles. And then I read something that I will probably never forget. Reading this short journal was one of those experiences where everything gets quiet, stands still, and I am reminded that nothing in life matters but my family, the gospel which I appreciate even more, and the gift of each breath of life. I silently picked up a shiny new whistle, and bought it. I don't know if it will make any difference, but it will remind me to not forget, to keep the perspective I gained.

Fallen Whistles
http://www.fallingwhistles.com/story/story.html?keepThis=true&TB_iframe=true&height=575&width=960#cover

In my own little bubble that I call my life, life really isn't too bad. Not too many bad or evil things happen. The second coming seems far off. But when I read or hear about such things as what you can read if you go to the above site, about the whistle blowers, or Fallen Whistles, it changed me. For the first time in my life, I actually wanted to pray for the second coming to come soon. I used to be afraid when I heard the prophecies of what would happen before the Savior's second coming, and selfishly and foolishly feared it, but now I see that is rediculous. If we are doing our best to prepare and if we have faith, then this is a great time to rejoice in! The second coming will end the suffering of many, and I want these horrible things to end! There are so many horrible things that happen all over the world, most of which I'll never know about, and I feel guilty for not helping those that I do hear about. I feel weak for thinking I have challenges. My challenges are blessings! I read this short journal and wanted to rush home and hug and kiss my little boy and give thanks for my life and for the life we have with him and I mourned for the mothers that have lost, and that will lose their sons to the horrible realities of war. I don't know why I have my life, and why some people have theirs, but I know their will come a day when all will be made right. There will be justice and mercy. I put my trust and faith in God, that he is in control and aware of all things and he will make things right.

I know that what I am doing now as a mother is the best thing I can be doing with my time, but I also feel like I live in a bubble and don't do anything to help people in horrible circumstances. I struggle with finding out about things, and then feeling like there is nothing I can do to help. I just read someone's story, real people's lives, God's children, their horrible reality, but what good does that do if I don't do anything about it? How can I read such things and not want to help rescue these boys? Of course as a mother to a young boy, I can't help but imagine if it were my own son that were one of the whistle blowers, who would only become a fallen whistle. I struggle with finding out about such things and then not knowing what or how to do anything about it. That is pretty much what the writer of the journal shared as well. He doesn't know how to help or how to stop it, but we can start by spreading the news and maybe someday someone will find a way to help. At the time, all we can do is support a rehabilitation facility for the children that are rescued, that somehow survive, and make it there. By purchasing a whistle, 100% of the proceeds go to supporting this therapy program for the children that make it to this center. So I simply share the awareness. It is the least I can do.

There are so many distractions and silly things that I worry about in my life, and really, life can be much more simple. Not a whole lot really matters in the long run other than family and the gospel. It disappoints me that I allow myself to get distracted and concerned with things that don't really matter in the long run. I want to stress less, worry less, and simply be more grateful for every blessing in my life. I want to know what God's plan is for me and what I can do.

We enjoy so many freedoms and simple protections that we take for granted because we live in America and don't know any different; I forget that many around the world will never know such peace, the simple things that we experience every day. I am reminded that to whom much is given, much is required. So I ask myself, and my Heavenly Father, what is the plan for me and my family; what can we do? I want to do my part, I don't know yet what that means but what I can do now is try to be prepared. Am I making myself ready, am I preparing myself for my current responsibilities and future service opportnities? Is my heart in the right place? Am I preparing myself to be the best mother I can be? Am I preparing my son to go out into the world to be the best servant he can be for the Lord? Am I making the most of my life?


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