December 2009

On December 1st, Ezra and I flew from Salt Lake to San Jose. Chris stayed in Utah to continue work there and I spent a few extra days visiting family and friends before Chris joined me in San Jose for April and Adam's wedding.

We visited Ashley one day and Ezra had a good time playing with Jalen and I got to hold her new baby girl London! I still can't believe she has two kids. She is a great mom and inspires me in many ways. I always enjoy our visits! And no, I didn't take pictures. :( We just got to talking and the day flew by and I forgot to get out my camera. I'm not very good at remembering to take pictures these days (months).

I discovered a new holiday treat at my parent's house. I was hanging out with my brother Joseph one night and we were looking for things to eat and we discovered amongst the many goods spread out over the dining room table, Harry and David's Moose Munch. Yum. How did I live so long without this goodness in my life? Dark Chocolate Moose Munch became my favorite holiday treat for the rest of December.

It was so fun to see Ezra with his uncles Ben and Joseph! It was so cute; when he'd wake up in the morning Ezra would run out of our room and the first thing he'd say was "Bin?! Bin?! Joes, Joes?! Where's Joes?" and he'd run around the house looking in every door until he found one of them. He would be sad if I had to tell him Ben was already at school but Joseph started school later so he at least got to see him every morning. My little boy sure loves interaction with big boys, be it his daddy, his uncles, his grandpa's, friends, he just wants to hang with the boys.

My parents gave me a very nice Christmas gift. My dad got my mom and I tickets to see Wicked in San Francisco!!!! He and Joseph fed Ezra dinner and put him to bed so I could go to the show so I was doubly grateful. Wow. That was a very nice gesture and gift. It was such a treat. I didn't know much about the story or what to expect but I thought it was great! I thought Galinda was hilarious and "Defying Gravity" moved me. Loved it. Thanks mom and dad! Here we are outside the Orpheum Theater in San Francisco. It's a little blurry, but you just take what you can get when asking complete strangers to take your picture.

My sister Lisa came over with her boys on Friday. It was so nice for Ezra to get to play with his cousins! There never seems to be enough time to visit everyone or as much as I want, but I'm glad we at least got to play that day. Lisa brought her little dog and Ezra just loved her. I've never seen him so happy and excited. Oh how I wanted to get him a little dog after that, but I know Chris would never allow it, so it was just fun to see him playing with her little dog. Pure joy was all over his face.

That night Chris flew in and the next day was April and Adam's wedding! April was such a beautiful bride and they had an equally beautiful ceremony. I was so glad we were able to be there! And it was fun to get to see some old friends that I hadn't seen in years, though I also felt a little shy and out of place as these people have remained tight friends since high school and I hadn't seen them in years! Chris and I had a fun time together. He even danced with me. There must have been a lot of love in the air to move him so. On our way home we stopped at where else to finish off our night but Sweet Retreat. ;)

April and Adam Babish

Joseph, Ezra, Chris, & Ben


Grandpa Grimaud



Chris had to fly back to Utah that Sunday night to continue his work there, and Ezra and I left Monday morning to fly home to Austin. When I got into Austin I was quite happy that I was able to push Ezra in the stroller while pulling the luggage cart because since Chris hadn't flown back with us, I had to get us to our vehicle in the long term parking lot, although the trick was that it was dark and I wasn't the one that had parked the car. I only had to explore a little bit but I don't think I've ever been so happy to see my car. And oh yes, I just love providing the entertainment at the airport when traveling alone with Ezra and all his gear, whether it is in the check-in line or leaving, I am sure to get stares. I especially appreciate it when grumpy old men make comments under their breath that I should try packing lighter next time. Really, do you not realize that one bag is the essential diaper bag, the stroller is a must (can you imagine Ezra running free in an airport while I move all this by myself?!) and that big cumbersome bag is his car-seat, and yep he needs a bed so that is his Pak N Play, and yes we each need our own bag when we are out of town for almost 3 weeks, so tell me, which bag should go?! I don't ask for help, I'm not in their way, so I don't know why people care, but oh well. I will say though that after my many flights with Ezra this year, as grateful as I am that we were able to visit family and go on adventures, I am a little burnt out on lugging all our stuff and entertaining Ezra by myself on these flights and feeling in the way with my toddler in other people's homes. So while it's nice to visit, I'm ready to be home for a while!! Yay for Home!!!

On our drive home from the airport:

Ezra was such a good boy on our flight home from San Jose. Every now and then a tender mercy comes along and I just sigh and give thanks. Miracles do happen, however small they may seem to someone else, my child falling asleep in his car seat on the drive home from the airport is a small miracle to me and much appreciated. I was able to carry him up to his bed and he stayed asleep! ;) Ah, sigh. We were home.

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A few days after we got back we went over to the Cooper's house to play and catch up with Wanda, Mackenzie, and Madison. We went over to the little park by their house and it was so funny to see how Ezra was acting with Mackenzie. He likes to play with both girls, but there is something different in the way he acts with Mackenzie. He definitely likes her and gets very excited to see her and loves to be right by her side. He gets this funny little smile with her, almost like he is shy or not quite sure what to do with his emotions around her, so I had to take a picture of the two of them.

First Crush?

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A drive in the car can be so exciting!!

"Yellow Bus!! Yellow Bus! Red light! Red means stop! Green Light! Green means go! Big Truck!!"

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Sunday walks to the creek to throw rocks and sticks (and try to catch fish) are one of Ezra's favorite past times. Here are Chris and Ezra on the little foot bridge.

My sweet boys.

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One of Ezra's last play dates with Benny Black.

We loved having play dates with Benny and Ashley (and getting to trade play dates too) and we miss their family! Benny's mom was my visiting teacher and I miss our visits too. We went to the park, the sprinkler park, celebrated birthdays, had our visits, etc., so I was very sad to have to say good bye after developing a friendship. These two little boys are so close in age it would have been a dream for them to grow up together, but I guess that wasn't the plan. Their family moved to Colorado just a few weeks later.


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One of my Christmas gifts from Chris this year was a date to see the Austin City Ballet perform The Nutcracker. This was a huge gesture on Chris' part, showing me he was supportive of my interests and purely doing this for my enjoyment. It was fun to have a date down town, we went to a new restaurant, enjoyed attending the show, enjoyed the live music, and of course I enjoyed watching the ballet. Chris endured it well and we had a very fun night.

12.19.09

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Ezra had fun getting to pick which Christmas pj's he would wear each night. He had a couple of fleece feet pajamas, one red "Santa's Helper" and another with reindeer on the feet. His favorite might have been these funny pj's though. He liked the striped pants and wouldn't want to take them off when it was time to get dressed so a couple of times I just let him keep the pants on under what he was wearing. So funny.

This Christmas season we discovered that Ezra loved tiny candy canes. I had bought a small box of them and soon discovered that I had to keep them on the top shelf of our pantry or else Ezra would find a way into them.
He loved the Christmas lights on our tree and was thrilled that he could turn the lights on and off all by himself by simply pressing a button.
He enjoyed shaking the gold bells and jumping up and down as we sang (er, shouted) "Jingle Bells" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". (Too bad he wouldn't do the same when it came time to carol to our friends. Stage fright.)
He definitely appreciated my Christmas Sugar Cookies. It was pretty hard to resist giving him another with his cute little face, covered in cookie crumbs and frosting and clever little voice in an extra sweet tone asked "mo cookie pweese?" Yea, he knows how to be extra cute and add a big grin at the end of his pweese when he wants something. Oh my, we made too many cookies but at least we shared them!



Another memory I have of these few weeks of getting to enjoy Christmas activities was when Ezra and I were both sick. We just holed up at home and snuggled on the couch and Ezra watched his first real movie. (ABC Family had been playing different movies for the 25 days of Christmas so I recorded the movie "Cars" on our DVR and was saving it for such a day.) So while it wasn't a Christmas movie, it came on at that time and I thought it might be cute for Ezra. Well he loved it! (He still does, he calls it his race cars show.) Ezra actually snuggled on the couch with me in our fluffy blanket and by the end of the movie he was trying to tickle me and I couldn't help but laugh as he said "ticko, ticko mommy!" He was so cute and fun. I realized that being sick can sometimes be a blessing in disguise because we both slowed down and were able to have moments together that we wouldn't have otherwise had. Ezra never holds still for more than a second so him being a little under the weather is the only time I get to really be close to him. So I didn't mind being sick so much this holiday season because it forced me to slow down and stay home and enjoy the simple pleasures of the season with my family, like snuggling with my little boy, staying in pj's all day, and watching a movie together; such a treat.



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We went to see the Parade of Lights in the park down town with the Coopers. We had fun watching the kiddos enjoy their light sabers and glow-in-the dark necklaces as we braved the crowds to get to the lights.
Mackenzie, Dave, Ezra, Madison & Chris
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Christmas Morning!!

Ezra was definitely excited this Christmas morning and ready to take wrapping paper off of presents. He had started to unwrap a couple of present during the previous weeks but when we explained to him that he could unwrap them if he waited till Christmas morning, he did very well leaving them alone. So he knew he had waited and knew this was the day he could finally unwrap!

Our family members from all over were so sweet to think of us and we had many mailed boxes of thoughtful gifts from various family members. And yes, some boxes were food storage; it just wouldn't be Christmas without boxes of food storage under the tree from Chris' mom. :) It has become a fun tradition to wonder what food storage we'll get this year and we appreciate the love and concern behind such gifts. Ezra made out like a band it! Chris and I joked that once again, we didn't need to buy presents for him because most of his toys (the good ones he really likes) come from grandparents and pass-downs from family and friends!





While we missed our families it was also nice to have a cozy Christmas in our own home. There's just something about the comforts of your own home with your own little family. Mmmmmm.....

I enjoyed having time to do things this holiday season like going to the Nutcracker, going downtown to see the lights, baking too many Christmas Sugar Cookies, Christmas gatherings at friend's houses and the party at the library for the kids, attempting to carol with Ezra while delivering treats, watching Christmas movies, and having friends over for dinner.

Chris had the week after Christmas off so we did fun things like taking Ezra to the park and Chris and I even tried to play tennis one day while Ezra ran around the court. Then we took an impromptu trip over to Houston to visit my uncle and aunt, Jon and Sheri Hulme, and their kids that were in town. That was fun and it felt great to feel so welcome and part of their family. They have a great set up for little kids so Ezra had a blast and we even cooked dinner together one night. Back at home, Chris and I got a sitter one day so we could do some adult activities like going to test drive cars (since Chris' car was totaled by the hail storms and the insurance company had picked it up and he was driving the work vehicle). We also went to a rifle range. That was a fun date. ;) That was my first time to the range and it went better than I expected. I like the challenge of learning something new and I have to admit I liked it when my husband sounded surprised and said "Wow, that was a pretty good shot". There might be a little competitive streak in me after all. (j/k) It is just fun to share an interest with my husband.






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New Year's Eve was an eventful day for our family. I nearly broke my neck falling in my closet that morning, we went to Cabela's during the afternoon, and we had a few families over that night for a little New Year's Eve gathering. Then in the middle of the night we almost took Ezra to the ER because he was crying and saying his tummy hurt and pointing to where you'd guess his apendix was, but turns out he just needed to throw up, a lot.

So that morning I was organizing my closet and stepped on a small, stool-like chair to put a heavy box of clothes on the top shelf of our closet. Just as I was about to slide the too heavy box over my head and onto the shelf, Chris came in the closet and I looked back over my shoulder to respond to him and that's all it took for me to somehow flip up the chair and fall. My neck, lower back, and right thigh landed on the flipped up chair legs and then the box fell on me. Owe!! Holy Moley it hurt. It was one of those falls where I was afraid to move to get up and it was darn embarrassing too. Yes, I continue to amaze Chris with my grace. He often asks me "Aren't dancers supposed to be graceful?" Well it has been years since I would consider myself a dancer and apparently my body feels the same way. I guess I'm just getting older too. It felt kind of silly to say that I had a bad fall, I mean, doesn't that just sound like something you only hear your grandparents say? I have more empathy now for those who "take a bad fall". It was very humbling to realize I could be so dangerously clumsy. I had some major back pains and spasms through February and March but they seem to have subsided, for which I am very grateful. And I can just now rub lotion on my right leg without it hurting like a bruise (6 months later) and I've got a lovely dent in my thigh. (Awesome. Ya know, when I wanted to sculpt my thighs, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind.) The hardest part of recovering from my graceful moment was being in such pain when I tried to hold Ezra, and then feeling bad when I had to put him down and him not understanding why I couldn't hold him anymore. So I'm glad my little fall wasn't any more serious because that was bad enough for me!

So that was the unfortunate start of our New Year's Eve day, but I was determined to not waste our family day so eventually we got out the door and went to Cabela's so Chris could exchange some gifts and we just think it is a fun family outing. Apparently I needed a little more humble pie because when we got to Cabela's I was puking in the parking lot. (Oh wow, I just love those moments, I felt like such a cool wife. Not.) My body was just out of sorts but eventually I was able to fight the fog and able to try to have fun with my boys in the store.

For my family members and friends who may read this who haven't been to a Cabela's: There are many full bodied animal mounts to see, replicas of record animals, a little creek/fish pond where you can feed large fish, the "mountain" with animals on it, the plane hanging from the ceiling, an African animal display, a North American animal display, trucks, a small aquarium, small home decorating department, candy shop, a cafe, etc. Ezra thought it was a great place to run around and I enjoy seeing Chris so happy in his element.


This picture makes me laugh when I look at Chris' expression because he looks so happy, as if struck by lust as he can't help but smile at the trophies he dreams of shooting. And thank goodness for "puppy back-pack" because Ezra was so excited to see everything and be everywhere, I wouldn't have been able to keep up with him otherwise.

Notice how Ezra has a Hotwheel car in each hand? First it was trains, now it is cars. Always has to have something with wheels in his hands. Funny little boy. I had fun showing Ezra the different animals and he loved playing in the Ford truck on display. He also liked the large fish tanks and feeding the fish in the streem in the middle of the store.

I had fun keeping up with him. His happy smile and giggles made my day seem better. I eventually had to get him in a cart because I was feeling a little wimpy from the morning's events, so I convinced him to get in a cart with some some gummy bears, which I thought would be ok because they said natural and sugar free, but they turned out to be somewhat poisonous for my poor boys. I didn't eat any, but Chris and Ezra did, and they ended up sick in the night. I felt so bad for picking out the poisonous candy!! When we talked with someone in Chris' family the next day, and we said we went to Cabela's, they asked if we ate any of the sugar free candy and sure enough, these family members got sick from the same candy. Crazy. So don't eat any sugar free candy at Cabela's!)

I spontaneously decided to invite a few families over from our ward to hang out that night after we got Ezra in bed. It was New Year's Eve after all! I had made a big crock pot of chili and figured why not talk and play games. A lot of people were out of town and many who stayed in town for the holidays had people visiting, so it was a small gathering but was still fun to be had! We are grateful for the friends we have made and for those we continue to make in our ward. So even though the day started out a little off balance, it turned out to be an enjoyable day and evening. :) See, sometimes my determined nature pays off. ;)

We are excited to see what 2010 holds for our family!


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November 2009

I was having a pretty sentimental day when I wrote this blog post. My baby boy is just growing up so fast!!

Some day when I look back at these pictures I will be reminded of Ezra giggling with mischief and delight as he tossed these colorful balls down through the upstairs banister. Chris tried to establish some sort of rule that the balls not be thrown downstairs, but it proved to be a losing battle, and like they say, you have to pick your battles sometimes. So Ezra would try to get away with as many as he could. It became some sort of game as I asked him not to at first, simply because I would want Chris to support me on things, so I tried to support this for Chris, but I quickly decided it was a pointless battle thought if Ezra was having fun, why not. (We just made sure to clean them all up before daddy got home.) Pretending to not want him to throw them over made it more fun for Ezra though. He is just that type of personality; the second I say "come here please", he runs away excited as if I just said "watch out, mommy's coming to get you and tickle you!" Everything is a game to him. Trying to play along is much more harmonious than trying to control everything he does. He sure enjoyed throwing these balls downstairs and they weren't hurting anything so I let him have his fun. I know I will miss this some day when my house is empty and quiet and painfully clean without little kids throwing toys all over. Sometimes I like to leave all of his toys out all over the house because it is comforting to me and I try to soak it in as if I need the visual proof that I need to slow down and enjoy the phase of life we are in. Especially when Chris is out of town, I don't always pick up the toys. It isn't because I am lazy when he is gone, it is because I don't feel so alone at night when I see Ezra's toys out and I can't help but smile and laugh to myself as I remember him playing or doing something funny that day. I am grateful for the women who wisely shared with me the advice to enjoy my child while he is young because his youth will pass too quickly and I'll eventually miss the fingerprints everywhere. This advice helps me laugh more and enjoy the simple things.


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Morning jogs to the park can be so fun, and then so tricky when it comes time to leave. I told Ezra he could run to the end of the park before getting back in the stroller, which he was quite happy about. He loves to run every which way.


I thought it was pretty cute to see Ezra looking like such a big boy, but then looking so young with his monkey flopping around in his little boy grasp as he ran around. Only Ezra doesn't call this stuffed animal his monkey, but "Oooh, Oooh, Ah, Ah" is his name. For some reason he doesn't call his little lovies "Monkey" or "Lion", but instead by their noises, "Oooh, Oooh, Ah, Ah" and "Rah". He hadn't been attached to a blanket or any stuffed animal up until this point but then all of the sudden he really wanted his monkey. I thought it was cute. He'd ask for his "Oooh, Oooh, Ah, Ah", then squeeze him and rub his head into him like an affectionate head-butt. It reminds me of when you see guys in sportsmanlike affection head-butting each other and rubbing their foreheads together during a football game. Apparently the gesture is inherent and starts young for some boys. :)


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Family Pictures

I asked my friend Kristen to take our family pictures this year.
(http://www.kristendukephotography.blogspot.com/)
I am so glad I have a friend who can take pictures because all my life I have really disliked taking pictures because I always feel so awkward and uncomfortable, which in turn makes for awkward photographs. I dislike taking pictures so much that I hardly took any pictures on our wedding day, and now I wish I had some better pictures, but oh well. Having a child made me appreciate pictures so much more and realize that I need to get over my silly insecurities and embrace the opportunity to capture precious memories. (I'm a much better sport now when people want to take pictures with me in them. I guess just another example of how having a child has helped me mature just a little bit.)

We hadn't taken pictures since Oceanside, when Ezra was 9 months old! Since Ezra has grown and changed so much and we didn't send out a Christmas card the previous year, I decided we really needed to this year and she said she could help me with both. Even though it can be costly and some what of a task, the end reward is so worth it to me! Family pictures have become precious to me. It is true what they say, a picture is worth so many words as you remember the moment, the emotions, the events leading up to the picture, etc. We took our family pictures at the park/reservoir that I jog to on my normal route. So there we were, my favorite time of day, capturing moments with the loves of my life.

I thought Kristen did a great job catching Ezra's personality in our quick photo session. As Ezra ran around exploring grass, collecting rocks and "ruff"ing at the dogs passing by, she was able to capture his cute little personality in the split seconds that he was still. Here he is, always on the run, so curious and excited to explore and entice a chase out of us.



Ezra really likes it when his daddy holds him up high. He'll say "again" and "again" and laugh each time, as if it is a new experience every time his daddy holds him up high over his head. I love his zest for life; it is contagious.


You just have to laugh sometimes!


Love, love, love this picture of Ezra!

My little man, pausing for just a brief moment to catch his breath, hair getting a little sweaty from running around, his smile showing his chipped tooth, flashing the smile that makes me laugh, as if he is teasing and getting ready to take off for another round of chase . . . . .


A serious (so cute!) moment with dad . . . . his first lesson on giving flowers.


Or


So sweet!

Oh, he looks so little while trying to be so big.



There is something about this picture that speaks to my soul.
It is as if I am being given a glimpse of what will eventually come to pass . . . . and in that glimpse, a reminder that time is fleeting and Ezra won't be my baby boy forever. I know there will come a day when I will look back at his life and it will seem as if he just ran off to play one day and the sun will have set on his childhood.

"Making the decision to have a child is Momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." - So there is a picture of my heart, running free, running away from me, and yet I know it is just as it should be.

I'll just have to let him run free and hope that he always knows who he is, where he came from, and where home is. I am so grateful that we have a way to be a family forever. As my mother-in-law often reminds us, "it won't be heaven without all of my children", and I couldn't agree more. I appreciate more what Jesus Christ made possible, now that I am a mother. . . . for making so many incomprehensible eternal joys possible for me.



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A Girls Night Out

This beautiful girl is Valerie, whom I got to know when I hired her to paint a mural in Ezra's bedroom over 2 years ago. We had picked up her business card when we were touring the Austin parade of homes back then and it turned out that she had been in our ward in Temple and moved out just a few months before we had moved in. Small world. (I mentioned some painting we had done back in my May post, and this is the same talented person.) I eventually felt like I was having one of my girlfriends over to chat when she came over to paint because we would spend so much time talking. I just felt like I needed to know her. Isn't it interesting how some people come into our lives? I think sometimes it is for a reason and not just by chance. Anyway, since it has been months since she has painted in our home, we have been trying to get together for dinner or lunch every now and then and it is always fun!

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All About Ezra

I should have recorded some things Ezra was doing when he turned 2, in October's post, so I'll list a few things that I recorded in November. Better late than never!

I remember the first time Ezra pointed out a letter to me. I was wearing a "Hollister" sweatshirt and while I was changing Ezra's diaper he pointed to my sweatshirt and said "S!" At first I didn't think he was really saying the letter "S", but he seemed pretty sure about what he was saying over and over, and when I shared this with a friend she agreed that at 15 months he was too young to really be pointing out a letter and I was probably just being an overly proud "first-time" mother. But then he kept doing it, and then we drove by Toys R Us one day and he kept pointing and yelling until I realized he was saying "T" and "O" and "Y", etc. Then I finally believed that he was saying letters after all and it was ok if I was a (privately) proud mother. ;) Before his second birthday he knew all of his letters, and I can't take the credit for it. We read books to him every day, but other than that he just picked them up on his own. That was the encouragement I needed to keep reading to him, even though as he gets older he can be quite restless and it can require some creative effort on my part to draw him into whatever we are reading, but I know in the long run it will be a good thing. He has learned so much from all of our story times. Plus, I really like this time with him, so story time is just as much for me, if not more, as it is for him.

Ezra has started counting. "Won, Too, Twee, Foh, . . . . " So cute. He tries to get his fingers to count like I do with mine but it is still very hard for him to get his little fingers to do what mommy's do. So then he gives up on the fingers and just starts counting very fast in his 2 yr. old language, which starts out discernible, and then I get lost somewhere around seven, I can make out 10 and twelve, and then he sometimes goes back to 2, 3, 4, etc. He thinks it is very fun to count fast and jump up and down and then we are just silly and giggling.

Ezra thinks airplanes are very exciting! ("Airpwane!") Sometimes he can hear them in the house or in the car and I think to myself "No, I don't hear an airplane" and then a minute later I'll see one out the window. I'm telling ya, my kid has got the hearing of an animal (or I'm going deaf.) When we go on walks he can hear an airplane coming much sooner than my ears can. He stops, gets a very serious expression on his face, and says "airpwane!", then doesn't move until he has determined which direction the noise is coming from. Then he spots it, points, and yells "airpwane" over and over until it is long out of sight. Then just when I think for sure it is really gone and we can walk again, he'll hear another one. This is all fun and cute, accept that we must live by some small airport for small planes because he can spot 5 planes while passing only 5 houses on our street, which means we don't get far fast, but that's ok. Our world can stop for the sighting of an airplane. :)

All of the sudden Ezra is very particular to things he didn't seem to care about before, like which color pajamas he puts on, or what color shirt. (Are you kidding me? I thought only girls cried for their favorite color shirt!) I was a little surprised that overnight he decided to have a favorite of everything. He wants to wear his red (Christmas) pajamas every night and his green polo shirt every day. (So I had to go buy a couple more of these so I wasn't doing laundry every day.) I mean really, he would cry and cry at night if I tried to put on another pair of feet pajamas. Then he only wanted one specific blanket. I used to have a little rotation going, you know, put in a clean blanket while I washed the dirty one, etc. But nope, now only one blanket will do and only one lovie, his "Ooh, Ooh, Ah, Ah" (monkey). I don't mind, I find it kind of cute that Ezra actually cares and finds comfort in these things, but it just came out of the blue and so suddenly, but if I start all the wash as soon as he is awake, he can have his favorite blanket and monkey back by nap time, and I'm only allowed to wash them if I let him put them in the washer, (he has to be sitting on the washer/dryer so he can see I am not taking them and they really are going in the machine) and then he helps get them out and put them in the dryer. He also cares what color sippy cup and what color plate he uses. Blue is the color of the moment. Oh, and when I wear red he just loves it and tells me all about "Mamma's red shirt! Red, red, red!" Possibly the most funny/rediculous particularity that we give in to is Ezra's binky order. At bed time he gets binks after we brush his teeth and he wants three binks, a blue bink, a red bink, and a white (clear) bink. At first I thought "are you kidding me?!" Really, he wants three binks; one in his mouth and one in each hand. So spoiled, I know. But it is easy enough to do and a happy kid, (a sleeping kid) makes a happy mom.
Ready for a nap, with "Ooh, Ooh, Ah, Ah" and a white, a red, and a blue bink. :)
(11.27.09)


In the past when we put Ezra to bed we would hold him on our lap and fold our arms over his to pray. But now Ezra wants to kneel on the floor to pray like a big boy. It is so cute. He jumps to the ground enthusiasticly and wraps his arms around his chest (with his hands turned out) and scrunches his eyes shut and makes this funny little scrunched up face. It is almost difficult to not start chuckling because it is just too cute, but we want to be as serious as he is so we do our best to be reverant and pray.
I am already humbled by my son's example. There are nights I am tempted to think I am too tired to kneel on the ground to pray, but he always wants to and who am I to not follow his enthusiastic example? I am grateful that being Ezra's mother encourages me to be better in so many ways.

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I am so grateful for the Priesthood, and I feel blessed to live in this latter day with it restored on the earth. I am grateful to have a husband that holds this great blessing for our family. I can't imagine living without it. It gives our family so much strength, peace, and guidance. One challenging day I needed to call on that power and I am so grateful for the opportunity that was to strengthen my testimony of Priesthood blessings. I want my family to know that I know that God lives and knows us personally. He loves us. He wants to help us and bless us. He wants us to be close to him because he loves us and wants us to have joy. We can do great things when he have faith in him. Anything is possible with faith. He will always be there to guide us when we turn to him in prayer. He is a loving and merciful God. The Atonement is real, and not just for forgiveness, but also the strength and given ability to bare our burdens in this life! I want my child(children) to know these things, that they are never alone, they are loved, and all is possible!
Matthew 21:22 "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."
Matthew 17:20 " . . . If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed . . . nothing shall be impossible unto you."

I am grateful for the power of prayer. Chris and I experienced a great blessing to our marriage as a result of a simple prayer. I know that when we offer our sincere, righteous desires to our Heavenly Father that he can make things happen in ways that would not be possible when left to our own abilities. I am grateful for divine inspiration.

The past few months my heart has been taught lessons of faith and charity. I'm still learning so much about these great and saving virtues. My understanding of love, charity being "a pure love", has grown and for that I am grateful. The words from this scripture hold more meaning to me;

"Charity suffereth long,
and is kind,
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemingly,
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked . . . . .
Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
Charity never faileth. . "

I bet if I read these verses every day I would be a better person . . . . yes, I know reading any scriptures benefit me, but if I started every day reminded of what charity is, I think I would be better. I definitely benefit from repetition. The only problem is that I think this about so many scripture verses, Ensign articles, choice books, etc., "if only I had time to re-read every highlight every day!" I need that constant reminder of who I want to be and the strength to become that person.

*

A seed was planted. We had our bishop and his family over for FHE one night and they invited some of their friends to come with them to our home. These friends just happened to be hunters so I got to talking to Sally about how much fun she had and how she loved going hunting with her girlfriends and she said I should go some time.
(Huh. Now there's a thought. Me, go hunting? Girls hunting together?) I would go with Chris when we lived in Utah but I was just along for the ride, I wasn't one of the hunters. It always seemed like the "boys club" and I never would have considered myself being one of the hunters. I enjoyed riding the four-wheelers through the mountains and all the time I got to spend with Chris hiking and enjoying the outdoors, but that was it. I never thought about the actual hunting (much to his dismay when he thought I wasn't taking it serious enough or being too noisy.) But talking to Sally made me think maybe I could try it and maybe I would like it. Wouldn't that be a funny surprise if I ended up liking my husband's weird obsession? For my personality all it seems to take for me to try something new is having someone believe in me and tell me I can do it. Talking with Sally made it seem like such a possibility. So then I got to thinking; I don't want to go with her and embarrass myself so I better learn to shoot first. And so it began. . . . the seed was planted.

*

Chris had some work in Utah the week of Thanksgiving so we got to stay with Chris' family for an extended visit while he worked and then celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday with them. It was so nice to have Chris with me and to all fly together after flying by myself with Ezra so much the past few months. It was so great to have Chris there and Ezra enjoyed getting to play with his daddy every night before bed!

I ended up getting my hair done in Utah which was nice because I was able to leave Ezra napping in his Grandma's care while I went off to try to salvage what was left of my hair. I did a really stupid thing back in September. At the end of the month I had my hair permanently straightened. My natural curl had pretty much turned into random frizz and waves here and there so I couldn't wear it curly anymore anyway, so I figured getting my hair straightened would just save me time getting ready - less curl to try to even out. The lady that did my hair told me it would be beautiful and I would love it. Well it wasn't and I didn't. Biggest mistake I've ever made to my hair. For a month I wanted to shave it off. Chris convinced me not too, or at least I didn't for his sake of being out in public with me. I didn't want people to worry I was crazy, lol. I wore it in a bun for at least 5 weeks straight until enough hair grew out that it wasn't so odd looking on my head. Oh it was really bad. Really bad. I had (have) cotton candy hair. I knew this day would eventually come and I can't blame anyone but myself. I have done everything to my hair that I possibly could and now it is only fair that it break off and be in the sorry condition it is now in. Bahumbug.

My hairdresser must have realized that she fried my hair (or should have known better than to straighten my already colored hair) but we never really said anything to confront the obvious sad condition of my hair. I figured it wasn't her fault, I should have known better, and it was done so what was the point of saying anything about it. But when I went back to see her in November for a change of color, she flipped out on me. I told her I didn't want to have my hair processed anymore, which meant I didn't want to be blonde anymore, and please just gently color my hair back to my natural color. Well she didn't like that idea, I guess it insulted her that I didn't want to do what she thought I should do, or maybe it implied that she fried my hair? She told me she didn't like that idea and she did not want me to be a brunette. (What? I'm not asking for permission!) I didn't trust she was really going to stop lifting my hair to a lighter color, so when she went to paint on some color that smelled too strong to be a deposited color, I felt really uneasy and asked her, just to be sure we were on the same page, what she was doing again, and that made her really mad. Honestly, all I said was "Wait, what are we doing again?" and she slammed down her bowl and off she went. She actually walked over to her station door to shut it so she could turn around and yell at me! She told me how dare I question her and how disrepectul that was of me and on and on and on, and when she finally stopped I was shaking and all confused inside wondering what the heck just happened?! So then she goes to do my hair, and I almost went along with it, as if I should feel bad and shrink in my chair for asking her what she was doing, but then I realized no, I don't need to let this woman treat me this way, that wasn't ok, I was polite and respectful to her and she should be so to me. So I very calmy and softly said I would pay her for her time but that it was not ok for her to yell at me, it was my hair, I had the right to ask her and understand what she was doing, and it was not ok for her to treat me that way. I was super calm and nice, but I was scared and shaking inside. She told me to just leave and get out. It was a crazy experience! Horrible. So not only do I have fried hair now, but hair dresser anxiety. It kind of messed with my head because then I worried that I pushed people or asked too many questions and maybe I just really bugged everyone. I kept going over it in my head asking myself "What did I do?!" I never said anything negative about my hair I just said I didn't want it to be lifted (blonde) anymore so I wanted to go more natural. I don't know if it was offensive to her that I wasn't letting her decide my hair color or if she thought I was implying something negative or if it just really bugged her that I wanted to do something different. Wow, it was crazy. I felt so confused inside and really looked at myself to try and figure out if I was a difficult person. Maybe I am. ? I felt like everyone must secretly be very annoyed with me and maybe everyone I talk to is about to explode at me. It was weird how insecure I felt after this. I was sure I had contributed something to it. I don't believe any experience is completely one sided; it takes two to have a problem, and it was bothering me that I wouldn't ever have closure with this woman or fully understand what I did to make her so upset. I hate ending things on such a negative tone. This experience really bothered me for a long time.

So all of that, lead me to getting my hair done while I was in Utah. I told my sister-in-law my story and she said she had a friend in her ward that was a very experienced hair dresser that even taught at the local beauty school and she was able to set me up for an appointment with her. So after all the craziness and stupidity of the past few months, I decided I still wanted to try to get back to my natural color so I could hopefully stop any further damage to my fried locks and just let my hair rest for a while. (And I didn't want to worry about drama with another hair dresser ever again. I think I have hair anxiety now, lol!) So I went from blonde to dark brunette, in hopes that I wouldn't have to dye my hair anymore, and chopped off some of my damaged hair. (I would have had to get a 1" pixie cut, to cut off all the damage, but I'm no Halle Berry so I could only cut off some of the damage.) I'm sure there is some psychological reason for why I do such drastic things to my hair and why I change it so much but for now I'm thinking it is going to stay this way for a while. And while I thought dying my hair closer to it's natural color would free me of further hair appointments, I am only too annoyed to discover I will have to continue coloring my hair afterall, and quite regularly, because I hadn't noticed how many silver hairs I had when I was blonde! Darn it. I just can't escape hair color it seems. Ha ha. So much for that plan; finally ready to stop dying my hair and now I have to. So that stupid decision back in September to straighten my hair is going to take years to grow out. At least that way I shouldn't forget too quickly so there is hope that I may learn from this experience to be more kind to my natural self.

So that is why I have blonde hair in our Christmas card/family pictures one week, and shorter brunette hair the next. I was embarassed that my hair was already different from the pictures we had just taken for our Christmas cards to be sent out in the next few weeks. Sigh.

That was a lot of blogging about hair. Hair is a big deal for a woman though. We have to look at it and do something with it every day. Ugh. I guess I felt the need to explain just in case anyone else out there feels like my husband, who just shakes his head and says "What were you thinking?" Yes, he prefers my hair blonde, he misses my long curly hair, but oh well, he'll just have to get over it until my hair grows out for a bit . . . . er several years. It all started to go downhill 2.5 years ago when my hair dresser moved to Houston and I never could find someone to do it just like her and it just became a pain, one that I just want to be done with for a while. The last time she did my hair was right before Ezra was born, and this is what Chris misses
(When Ezra was 4 weeks old)


Right after my hair appointment, my self glamour shot via cell phone. I just took this picture to send Chris a pix message to warn him he was coming home to a different wife. ;)

Ok, moving on from the ever important topic of my hair color . . . . (just kidding!) . . . .

I was glad it snowed when we were in Utah! I like jogging in the fresh snow, and I still think everything looks so magical and serene right after it snows.

Plus, I couldn't resist buying some cute snow clothes for Ezra so I was glad he got to wear them and play in the snow a bit. Although playing in the snow is still a new thing to Ezra so mostly he stomps around and isn't quite sure what to make of it.

Of course I couldn't get him to look at the camera, but I still like the funny faces he made as his boots sunk in the snow and when he got snow on his mittens.









My sister Chantal came up from Provo to visit one night before she flew to California for Thanksgiving. We all had dinner and hung out. I really appreciated her driving all the way up to see us!

Chris and I were able to leave Ezra with his Grandma so we could go to the temple! It always seems like such a special date when we get this rare opportunity! It is so much more doable when we are in Utah so we try to take advantage of the opportunity when we are there. The Bountiful temple is only 20 minutes away and we are able to be at peace knowing Ezra is with his grandma, unlike going to the temple back in Texas where we would have to leave Ezra with a babysitter for 7-8 hours! It was actually a double date as we went with Chris' sister Mona and her husband Chris. I appreciate the peace and perspective and greater love that I feel after attending the temple. I know it makes our marriage closer. We always seem to leave feeling a little more in love and committed to what brought us together in the first place; our desire to be and create a loving, eternal family.

The night before Thanksgiving we watched a movie with Chris' parents and Kami and Ty while I prepared Apple Pies for the next day's feast. Either 69 or 70 people attended the Thanksgiving feast at Monte and Lanette's house! They have a half gym in their basement and it is like a cultural hall in that they bring out folding tables and chairs and set up for the masses. It was all of Monte and Lanette's children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Then Lanette's brother, sister, and their children and grandchildren. So Chris had all of his siblings, nieces, nephews, and then aunt, uncle, and cousins from his mother's side. It was quite a group! I'm not used to this large of a gathering so I like to stay on the outskirts and observe, and mostly I was keeping track of Ezra anyway, but it was nice to see everyone and say hello! I always feel a little shy and awkward with such large groups, but it was still nice. We each went around the room and gave a brief update on our families and tried to catch up with everyone. It felt like a whirlwind to be honest. So many people in and out in only a matter of hours. Wow, so that is what it is like for families that live within an hour or so of each other. Yea, it's pretty quiet back at home with just Chris and Ezra. Poor Chris, he probably misses these large family gatherings so I'm glad we get to visit so he can attend them at least every now and then. Wouldn't it be lovely to live close to all of our children some day and have such gatherings of our own. We'll see how life goes!

Thanksgiving night, Chris went with Mona and me to see New Moon. (Giggles.) I thought it was sweet of him to go with me. I told him we didn't have to go if it would be too tortorous for him, but he admitted he was a little curious and was sweet to accompany me to this fantasy movie. I like that once in a while my husband is willing to see a chick flick with me. It happens maybe once every 3 years, but when it does happen, we get silly and have our fun. We are very good at being serious and responsible, so I like it when we can be goofy sometimes. For the most part, I thought the second movie was a big improvement from the first and we enjoyed it. There was one part though when Mona made me laugh because she appropriately exclaimed "Oh Gag! Gag me!" Lol. Fun times. Just remembering that makes me laugh.


The day after Thanksgiving the family met up at the property.
Chris, Ezra, Jada, and Mona.

The kiddos threw rocks at the frozen pond and tried to break the ice. Some went for four-wheeler rides, and eventually we all ended up playing in the cabin's basement to keep warm. We played a tournament of pool, ate left-overs and just enjoyed hanging out. The cabin is a very simple place but always a fun place to get away and enjoy the simple things of life; family, food, recreation, games, etc. I have to say though that my favorite part of the day was when Chris took me out to shoot his 22-250! It took me a minute to get over the fear of pulling the trigger, (because Chris had talked about the kick of rifles and there is that low lying uneasiness - I mean, there is a bullet coming out after all) but once I got over that and pulled the trigger, and BAM! . . . . . . . I didn't feel the kick of the rifle, I just knew that I liked it and wanted to do it again! I was surprised how fun it was to try out target shooting. I didn't think it was bad at all. I liked it. :) I decided if I am going to live in a house with rifles I might as well learn how to use them. It was surprisingly fun. And so it began.

The rest of our visit flew by with visiting family, watching movies at night, fitting in some Christmas shopping and of course, eating good food. I was able to pick Chantal up from the Salt Lake City airport the night she flew back in from California and we spent some time enjoying the lights of Temple Square, drinking hot cocoa and talking like sisters do.


11.29.09

I was able to see Sandi for a quick visit right before Ezra and I flew to San Jose. She had just driven back into town the day before we were flying out. Ezra always has a great time playing with Landon.

We always wish for more time to visit more with family and friends but we had a great Thanksgiving visit in Utah! Chris had to stay to continue his work there, so since he wasn't going to be home, Ezra and I continued our trip on to San Jose, California. We flew out December 1st.