May 2008

5.1.08

Monte and Lanette came to visit and brought some fun new toys for Ezra!
Grandma Brough sure knows how to make a kid happy!


5.3.08


*



5.4.08

Monte wanted to take some pictures but I was feeling sick and tired, so I wasn't too excited to be in any pictures. (Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of being in pictures.) My poor in-laws have to put up with me once in a while :). But we had our little photo shoot on the back porch and ended up with some decent pictures.

I realize I need to be better at being more cheery and agreeable when I don't feel well. (More mature perhaps?) I have incredible examples in my family of people who are constantly struggling with disease and sickness, lack of sleep, etc., and yet are kind, giving, patient and wonderful. Many women are like this and are some how able to give so much when they themselves don't feel well. I have so much room for improvement in this area. I will have you know though, that since that day I have made an effort to not complain and to instead be a good sport when pictures come up. I have made an effort to talk less of how sick I feel, to smile more, complain less, and try to be more patient. I still lack patience when I don't feel well, but I'm working on it. The real test of character is how we act during our trials. I would like to adapt a quote I heard from my friend Ashley, which she heard from her grandpa:

" Its easy enough to be pleasant when life goes along like a song, but the girl worthwhile is the girl who can smile when everything goes wrong. "




Is it cheating to create a photo with everyone smiling?

Every picture that Chris I have natural smiles and look half decent in, Ezra is of course looking the other way, or not smiling. So I tried to create a photo with all three of us smiling, but obviously I lack the skills to create such a photo. I thought the result of my efforts was funny enough to post for entertainment's sake though. :)


Ezra has been curling in his bottom lip a lot and Lanette said Chris did this too when he was a baby. I think it is such a funny little face.

Can't get enough of those baby loves! Ezra had a great time with his grandparents!








*****


5.5.08
I love my boys! There's just something about seeing my husband being great with our baby that makes him even more handsome to me. Chris is great with Ezra. He is creative and in-tune to his needs and I love it!


*****


5.7.08

This was not my favorite day, although it could have been much worse so we count our blessings. I had this nagging feeling that I needed to get a hold of Chris all day, even though I couldn't pin-point why. I called him several times, more than I ever call him. I'm not one of those incessant callers when I can't get a hold of someone, but this day I was. I just felt this need to talk to him!

Chris walked into our house unexpectedly at 4pm. (This is coincidental timing because the few times something has gone wrong or bad, Chris has surprised me by walking in the door at 4pm. He normally comes home much later, so this is an odd thing to have happen.) So when he walked in I just knew something bad had happened. I ask him where he had been (I had called the lab and no one had answered) and he tells me he had been in the ER all day! (What?! Why?! I'm confused, you look fine, what's wrong?) Of course I listened calmly and quietly. I'm learning that with Chris I internalize a lot of stress because I don't want to add to his. I want to be the calm strength that he needs, but on the inside I am not always so calm. We balance each other out that way. When he is stressed, I am calm and positive, and vice verse.

Chris was working with a new machine he designed and while cleaning out the chamber in preparation to run more tests, he hit the emergency stop button. Luckily he knew the machine and was familiar with the system so he knew to pull his arm out when he heard this noise. He though he had pulled it out in time, but then noticed all the blood. His finger hadn't made it all the way out before the chamber door shut. The guy he was running samples with drove him to the ER where he received several numbing shots in the tip of his exposed finger and knuckle which Chris described as the most painful thing he's ever experienced, including worse than the actual injury. He was stitched up, given a pain prescription and sent on his way. The doctor joked now was the time to commit a crime if he wanted because he had lost that fingerprint.

He feels very blessed and protected to have only injured his finger. It was a bad and messy cut, but he didn't lose the tip of his finger, and has all feeling and mobility again. It could have been so much worse and we are grateful that wasn't the case. We do believe in guardian angels.

5.7.08

Props to my hubby: So he comes home from the E.R. and makes work calls. (Um, I appreciate you being responsible and finishing the work day, but can you tell me what happened first?!! Can we talk about this?!!) Then all he wants is to hold his son, eat a chicken pot-pie, and then off to Elders Quorum meetings he goes. He is so not high maintenance that sometimes I wish he was so he'd let me take care of him a bit more. I think he was so grateful that it wasn't more serious that he just kept saying he was fine and it wasn't that bad. The only complaint I heard from him was when he realized he wouldn't be able to chop vegetables to make me dinner on Sunday for Mother's Day. (Are you serious?) I almost thought it was funny that he would even think about that because I sure wasn't. I just wanted to take care of him and make sure he was ok, but there he was feeling bad that he couldn't make me dinner. I don't know how but I got a good one.


*****

5.8.08

My cute little monkey.

*****

Proof it's not just in my head that I've aged at least 10+ years in the last few months:

I met a nice woman for the first time and some how it came up how old I was. When I told her I was 25 she said "Oh no way, I would have guessed you were much older, at least 10 years older! Oh honey, you need to take care of yourself!" Maybe it was the gray hairs poking through. Maybe I should have put make-up on that day. It really didn't offend me, it was actually validating to have someone see what I feel, if that makes sense. I appreciate honesty and it is one of my favorite qualities to find in someone. So few women can be so honest. It bugs me when people just say what they think someone wants to hear. This also gave me the nudge I needed to start taking better care of myself because apparently I'm starting to look as I feel.

Just how do you find the right balance when you are giving in time and energy in service to family and others, callings, and yet responsible for and expected to get a hundred things fabulously done each day, keep a house of order, keep physically and spiritually strong, stay close to family and friends, and of course we mustn't forget the message that somewhere in there we should take time for ourselves. And what about the moms that are working outside of home? I can't decide if they are insanely busy and not sleeping, or if they accept they can't do everything because they are gone and it's just not an option. Do I expect more of myself because I am home and I don't have an excuse to not accomplish something? Or am I a slacker and need to figure out how to do more? (Oh, and I'm not even going to list the many great things that loom over my head like having 72 hour kits up to date for my growing family, a complete stock of food storage, be self sufficient and grow a garden, family history work, reading and learning and developing talents and all those cool things we are reminded are so important but again, when?) How are you supposed to do it all? I don't know what the right balance is. It is all a little confusing to me. So I've decided that not everyone does have it all together, or at least not in the way I assume, even if it appears that way. Sure plenty of people have it more together than me, but I also realize that if someone is sewing custom car-seat covers, her kids are eating cereal for dinner, (and here's the key part) and she is ok with that. And that's how it works, there's give and take. You can't do it all at the same time. So that's my new saying. If you want to know where it came from just ask, and I'll explain. Sure it might not be that your kids are eating cereal for dinner but there's got to be a compromise somewhere. I'd love to be a fly on the wall so I could learn how other people do it and so I could get a realistic idea of how other people balance things in their life.

I love being Ezra's mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything. He is my joy. So this is not supposed to sound negative, just some of my thoughts as I wonder how people do it all. I hope to some day be more confident in who I am and not struggle so much with feeling guilty or ashamed that I can't do more. I am so grateful to have the prefect husband for me, who reminds me that it doesn't matter so much what I do because I'm doing the most important thing first, and that is being Ezra's mom. How do I have it so in my head that "just" being mom all day isn't accomplishing enough? I know there isn't anything more important, and yet I struggle to feel confident when I am not doing all of the great things that many women out there are. I don't feel competitive, that isn't it. I just worry that maybe I'm not doing enough, and yet I think I am trying my best.


*****


5.9.08

Chris got this onesie for Ezra when we was in Cabo, Mexico for his fishing trip. Ezra was just 3 weeks old when he went, and I thought it was so sweet of Chris to bring us souvenirs. At the time I remember thinking the onsie was so big! But ah, sigh, it now fits my growing baby boy.


*****

Tummy Giggles




5.11.08


*****



5.12.08

*****


This face makes me think he is thinking "Yep, I got it mom. What ya going to do about it?" - as if he is waiting to see if I'm going to take it away or not.

5.13.08

Oh the phone chord again. I think he's winning.


*****


Texas isn't so bad after all. I took this picture with my cell phone while pushing Ezra in the jogger. I wanted to share with my friends and family that haven't been here, how green it is here and the wild flowers that grow in abundance. I know this picture does not at all do them justice, and I waited pretty late in the season, but I wanted to remember our trail. While I do miss California and Utah, I think each place has its beauty and I feel lucky to live within walking distance to such a beautiful trail. You can't see them but there are horses in the background of this picture, and I always like it when horses are around.

*****

5.15.08

Seriously, I love this kid! He is my cutie pie!!!


*****



5.18.08


*****


Memorial Day Weekend

5.24.08

Oh my, I look a little goofy but these pictures are too fun to not post. Our friends the Coopers rented a boat for that Saturday afternoon and invited us to come along for a fun afternoon of boating on Lake Travis. We had a great time! Their two girls are so cute and good with Ezra and we always enjoy visiting with Dave and Wanda. (That is their oldest daughter Mackenzie, in the above picture.) And we appreciated the opportunity to get out and do something different! I really like getting outside and going different places as a family. I think boating is a great family activity.


I have never been a big fan of life jackets because they are so uncomfortable and I know how to swim well enough, but trying to tread water and hold a squirmy baby for a long time is another thing, so we proudly sported the life jackets as we floated around with Ezra. This was Ezra's first time in the lake and he seemed to enjoy it very much. The poor little guy had gotten his first fever a couple of days before and was still fighting it, but being in the cool water helped him feel better. Of course I worried about taking him and if he would be miserable or too hot or too uncomfortable, but we decided to try it and were glad we did. It seemed to be just what he needed. He was so happy in the water and being wet kept him cool and comfortable back in the boat. He even feel asleep in my arms on the very bumpy boat ride back!

We headed to The Oasis for some lakeside/view dining, but had a little mishap with the valet service in their parking lot. There was a long wait anyway, but when one of the drivers for the the valet service backed a golf cart in to the back of our car at full speed, that kind of put a dent into things, no pun intended. We were sitting in our vehicle, deciding where to go eat since the wait was so long, and then the golf cart hit us. Bummer. It only put a small ding/dent in our back bumper but who wants to deal with that. I didn't think it was a big deal but it turned out to be a hassle trying to get anyone to take responsibility to fix it. You hate to be tough but it seems that is the only way to get things done sometimes. The restaurant would have nothing to do with it and the guy running the valet service didn't want to use his insurance. But 6 weeks later we eventually got the bumper fixed. It makes me sad that being nice, patient and understanding leads to getting taken advantage of or ripped off.


*

That holiday Monday we went to the Parade of Homes in Lakeway. We just like to see different floor plans, get decorating ideas, see different paint examples and what not. I think it is fun. Some people like going to car shows or look at art hanging on the wall, and I like looking at houses. Lucky for me Chris seems to like it too and was happy to go along. Ezra was perfect and didn't spit up on any of the new floors. He was a happy camper through the entire hot and humid outing. :)



That evening we headed over to one of our friend's in our ward for a BBQ. It was nice to have the opportunity to get to know some people better that we see every Sunday but don't always have the chance to stop and visit with between classes and changing diapers. I put Ezra down to play another boy his age, along with some other kids and he seemed to really enjoy the interaction. I remember getting an e-mail from BabyCenter and finding it comical when one of the updates said to pay attention to my infant's cues that he was ready to be social. I don't know why, I just thought the wording was funny. But then I saw how excited and interested Ezra got with these other children and I realized maybe these were those cues . . . . hmm . . . . I think it's time to start setting up play dates. Wow, I'm entering the phase of play dates. Who wants to be Ezra's play date?

*

Somehow Chris was able to swing another day off work, extending this fun weekend, since he had been traveling a lot and working late along with a few Saturdays.
(Yahoo! I'll take all the time I can get!)
After seeing how happy Ezra was in the lake we were confident he was ready for the pool. So on Tuesday we started a new tradition for our little family and jogged to one of the pools in our neighborhood, then took turns swimming laps and playing with Ezra in the pool. He had no fear and loved patting the water, splashing, kicking, laying on his back, and rocking in the crawl position in shallow water.




5.27.08


*****

5.29.08

*****


5.31.08

Is he going to crawl?!
Not quite, but he'd tease us as he rocked back and forth on his hands and knees.


*****


A few more firsts:

-Ezra's first tooth cut though. I felt it as he was giving me a wonderful slobbery kiss on my jaw. I looked and sure enough, there was a little tooth cutting through. A couple of days later there was another one.

-Ezra made his first visit to his Daddy's work in Temple. I dropped him off in the late afternoon with Chris. He set him down in his office on a blanket with some toys. I took off for a little personal pampering at a salon.

-Unfortunately that ^ was the day Ezra got his fever so Chris worked with Ezra in his lap for most of the time because he wanted to be held. Then of course I felt terrible for taking off to do a selfish thing when I came back to find my child was burning up with his first fever. At first I just thought he was hot because it's summer in Texas and we're all hot. Ezra never cried, he just wanted to be held. I put the AC on him as much as I could, stripped him down, and even put cool packs on him for the drive home. When I got home and took his temperature in his armpit it was 103! My stomach dropped because I remembered hearing my pediatrician say to add a degree or more from the armpit reading. Ugh. Those next few days were full or worry and concern as we did all we could to help Ezra be more comfortable. He had a slight runny nose and a little cough but nothing serious. This one little incident gave me greater appreciation (if not heart ache!) for the Pioneer women who had sick children. (Well, child birth also gave me a greater appreciation for all of those women!) I can't imagine the hopeless feeling of holding a sick little child without the accessible doctors and medicine and other things we have to help our little ones. I am so grateful to have such a patient and giving sister-in-law that kindly takes my phone calls when I call to ask her expertise. (Dalene has been an E.R. nurse for several years and is a mother of 4 herself.) As I called her I remembered the advice tag I got from another sister-in-law, which came with her baby shower gift, and her advice was: "1-800-Call-Dalene". At the time I had thought it was cute and funny but now I really appreciated having this number to call. I also gained a greater appreciation for the whisperings of the Holy Ghost and how valuable that inspiration is to any mother.

-Well I knew it was bound to happen eventually. With how much he spit up, how could it not? Sure it had gone down between my legs when I was sitting with him and there's nothing like sitting in warm puddle of puke. It had gone down my shirt plenty of times. Even in the hair a few times, but only after I had washed and dried and curled it first. But the best would have to be when I picked Ezra up from nursing him in the night and he puked all over my face which yes, includes my mouth and nose. Yummy moment of motherhood, I'd say. I paused for a moment as I tried to decide which was better: to risk tasting it as I opened my mouth to breath, or risk snorting it as I inhaled through my nose. I set him down on my lap and chose to inhale through my nose, as I searched in the dark for a burp rag to wipe off my face.

-The spit up on the face is outdone though by Ezra playing with his poop. So I was cooking dinner on the stove and Ezra was sitting on a blanket with some toys. I looked over at him and saw what I thought was rather dark spit up on his tummy and his thigh and oh yes, his fingers and toy. Even for eating prunes it just didn't look right. Sure enough, I get closer and that is not spit up, but a leak out of his diaper that he got his hands on. I decided from that point on that never again would I put any of my children in only a diaper and a onsie. There will always be some sort of clothing over the onsie on the bottom half to prevent such things from happening in the future. I can handle cleaning the clothes, but my baby playing with it?!! And I was so close and watching him; I don't know how it happened so fast before I could catch it. Oh well. We had a good laugh and just cleaned everyone up.
Gotta love those yummy mummy moments. :)


*****

April 2008

4.3.08

I got these sunglasses for Ezra to wear when I take him out in the jogger. I half expected him to not wear them but to my surprise he left them on and seemed to like them. When I offered to take them off to find out if he would prefer to have them off, he fussed, so on they stayed. But then I decided they weren't my favorite because I couldn't see if his eyes were shut so I didn't know if and when he fell asleep. So I wasn't too sad when a month later he decided it was more fun to chew on them then wear them. Just after his grandma came to visit and exclaimed how cute it was that he wore his sunglasses, he started taking them off and chewing on them. Oh well, it was cute while it lasted. :)


*****

It was sure nice to be able to watch General Conference at home. After a few years of trying to watch it over bad internet connections, sitting on the floor of our apartment since we didn't have furniture in the room with the computer, this seemed quite a luxury. (The last Sunday session we were in the hospital with our new baby!) Ezra was great during General Conference, probably because we sat and held him the whole time. I always enjoy an excuse to not be able to do anything but sit and cuddle my baby. I especially liked the talks given during the Saturday morning session. Ezra liked the Tabernacle Choir. Every time they would sing he would turn around to the TV and he would just stare with his little mouth open. It was so cute!

I had a sweet experience when President Monson was sustained as the prophet of the Church of Jesus Chris of Latter Day Saints. I felt the Spirit testify to me that he is indeed a prophet. I was feeding Ezra some baby food during the Saturday morning session, and I turned to tell him that the man on the TV was our prophet, but before I could say the words, I felt constrained, and the Spirit washed over me and I experienced what words would only lessen. It was unexpected, as I had been willing to follow and accept this man in faith, but it was made clear to me that Heavenly Father wanted me to know for myself, to feel and come to know the truth of those words before I said them to my son, that President Monson was indeed Heavenly Father's called prophet on this earth. I am humbled by Heavenly Father's love, that he cares enough for me, to give me this experience; that a simple choice made in faith could be followed by such a confirmation of undeniable feeling, and to a simple mother such as myself.


*****

At Ezra's 6 month check-up he weighed 14 pounds and was 26 inches in length. Even though he had only gained 1 pound since his 4 month check-up the doctor was ok with this and wasn't concerned. This was nice because I was concerned with him showing less patience and interest in nursing, but he still wouldn't take a bottle or sippy cup and didn't seem to like any baby food yet, so I worried he wasn't eating enough. We did get the ok to feed him yogurt for babies though, so I left with yet another food to get Ezra to try. We were happy to report that Ezra was a happy baby and that he was starting to sleep better. Yay for sleep!

At this time Ezra loves to hear his own voice so our days are full of squeals and shrieks. We call him our baby terradactyl and our baby Tarzan. My mother said I did this when I was a baby also, and she called me her baby eagle. Ezra will look up with a smile and bat his eye lashes as he lets out a good squeal, as if he is performing and is so pleased with himself as he deafens those within range. I think it is adorable because they are happy sounds, but I do recognize that when we are out in public everyone else might not think it is so cute. The more I try to quiet him though, the more he smiles and screeches, and I can't help but laugh at my happy baby.

Ezra loves to play with my hair. Most of the time this is fine because he isn't pulling it on purpose yet, but mostly just likes to wave his fingers back and forth in a piece of hair, or open and shuts his hands on it.

Ezra smiles when we sing "I Am A Child Of God" (we sing "You Are. . . ") when we are rocking him to sleep. It is the funniest thing to me. I sing several different songs to him but he must like this familiar melody because for some reason, each time I start a verse of this song he stops nursing, looks up at me and smiles this sweet, dreamy smile. So sweet and precious. These are the moments.


*****

What did I do?!
I wasn't going to post pictures of my dark hair, but Ezra is just so darn cute in this picture that I decided to.
4.11.08

Yep, I walked in a blond, and walked out a brunette; a dark brunette, a dark purplish reddish brunette. Yea, it wasn't quite what I was expecting, but it never really is. I just needed a change. This was probably not one of my best impulses. I don't think this color helps flatter the tired, frumpy woman that tries to hide under make-up and bronzing lotion. Eh, it's just hair though. I took this picture with my phone so I could send Chris a picture message as a little heads up before he got home from work. Chris was kind and said he liked the variety. Yes, if anything I do provide some variety.

Ok, so the happenings of my hair aren't really Brough family news. I'm realizing, maybe I should change our blog from the Brough Family, to Jessica's random thoughts and lots of pictures of Ezra. What do ya think? :) But to my girlfriends out there who are reading my blog, you know that only a girl would understand and sometimes I just need someone to listen. (j/k) But really, knowing me, there is going to be something about my hair every now and then because I'm always changing it and having disagreements with it.
(I will probably delete these blurbs about hair before I print out my Blog for any sort of book or keepsake. :)

It was a combination of things. A lot of my hair fell out after having Ezra, so I grew this dark fringe everywhere that my hairdresser wouldn't highlight for whatever reason. Having dark fringe and blond hair was driving me crazy. So I thought I'd solve the problem, make my life easy and just go back to being a brunette. The only problem is that with my lack of sleep and poor health lately, I seem to have caught the gray hair disease as well. So now I have the opposite problem; instead of having dark regrowth to my lighter hair, now I have a ton of gray growing in that stands out to my dark hair. Cool. No, I couldn't just have a lot of hair fall out and have a receding hair line and fringe, but lets throw some gray in there, oh, and lets change the hair from curly to bone straight and flat. Cool. Yea, I really don't know what to do with my hair these days, but like I said, it's just hair, and I don't really think it's a big deal. I just write about it because it's almost funny! Yep, the grass is always greener and I'm learning to just stay on my side, whichever that is now; blond or brunette, oh wait I meant gray, and is it curly or straight?!

You thought I was kidding about the fringe and the receding hair line didn't ya?
I had just had my hair colored when I took these pics so you can't see the gray yet. I won't take pictures of that, don't worry. :)


See, it is growing in so flat and straight now. For me, this is very weird. I'm a big fan of the Caruso Curlers these days (you know, those red steam curlers that were big in the 90's). They seem to work well with blending my natural frizz in with the new flat hair growing in. They don't work so well when it is humid though. I end up with a huge puff of hair that isn't sure if it is supposed to be straight or curled, so it's one big frizzed out mess.


*****

4.14.08

Well I think the phone chord is officially more exciting than the blocks. He looks so happy with it. Too bad I have to take it away. Yes, I know it is bad and dangerous to let a child play with a chord. Chris assured me there was no electrical current going through this chord so I snapped these pics and then moved him away. He didn't have any teeth yet either! Ezra just loves any sort of string or chord or shoe lace, all of which we wouldn't want him to play with for risk of getting it around his neck or something else terrible. Why do they always want what is dangerous? I know, and it's just the beginning of what's to come!


*****


4.15.08


I couldn't decide which one I liked better, so I had to post both of them.


*****


4.22.08

Hallelujah!

I started to doubt this moment would ever come. After months of not taking a bottle of either breast milk or formula, and after trying different bottles, and 3 different sippy cups, different formulas, Ezra finally accepted this sippy cup of formula spiked with a drop of Stoneyfield's Organic YoBaby Peach Yogurt drink. Does he have me wrapped around his little finger or what?! He is already very clear on what he wants and doesn't like. I can tell he is going to be a stubborn kid, which isn't a big surprise considering who his parents are. :)


*****


4.23.08

Yahoo! I finally made Ezra his first batch of baby food! Doesn't it look so appetizing? (Yea, I know, not so much.) It was a good dinner though, and I just pureed the extras and voila, baby food. It is pureed broccoli with a little bit of butter and romano cheese, and tilapia with a hint of lemon pepper, onion and mango. Chris didn't think Ezra would eat it, but he loved it!

I have to say that my friend Ashley motivated me to make baby food. She said it was so easy, but it seemed like this big thing since I hadn't done it before. My sister-in-law Dalene gave me a great book by Annabel Karmel, "First Foods", that helped me realize babies can eat a lot of different foods, including cooking with onions, spices, and combinations that adults would eat themselves. So I looked at the book, and sure enough there was a recipe for a fish dinner and I thought, "Ok, I can do this. We were going to eat something very similar for dinner anyway, so instead of making this recipe just for Ezra, I'll adjust ours and he can eat what we are eating." Ezra has liked everything so far, even fish and broccoli. I thought it would be more time and effort than I was up for, but it was simply planning meals that Ezra could eat, then cooking a little extra for him, pureeing the extra and voila, baby food made. I have to say I really enjoy making baby food. I don't know why it is so fun, but I guess I get happy over simple things. I like having things home made, and would have everything that way if I had the time and know-how!

I can't always make baby food out of what we eat because of spices, and I don't think a pureed salad would be very good either, but most of the time I can make something work. When I make smoothies he also has some of that with baby oatmeal cereal. I figure why buy fruit baby food when I can blend it up at home without cooking out the nutrition and peeling off the fiber. Ezra still does not eat bananas (or any juice, yogurt or smoothie with banana in it). The last couple of times he did, it cleaned out his system; poor baby. He also doesn't like mangoes or avocados. I started to wonder if he was really my kid when I discovered this. J/K, Chris doesn't like them very much either so I guess he just takes after his daddy. For the most part, he is quite the good eater these days.


*****

This month I had the fun opportunity to help throw a baby shower for a friend in my ward that I work with in the Young Women's program and that I also Visit Teach. I am new to the whole throwing a party thing, but it was fun to learn from other creative women and it felt good to pass on the service that was provided for me when I was pregnant with Ezra. I was so grateful for the shower that was thrown for me, and especially by so many women who didn't even know me. I appreciated them welcoming and supporting me simply because I was part of their ward family. She was having a girl so it also fulfilled any need I might have had for pink! There were lots of pink flowers, pink napkins, pink pencils, pink papers, pink ribbons, etc; lots of pink. :)


*****

One Saturday we had one of Chris' friends from BYU stop by with his wife and two daughters. It was nice to catch up with the Hunter family as we hadn't seen them since we visited them in Chicago 3.5 years ago! We were also able to have the Kynaston family over for dinner before they moved to Idaho. I'm really sad that they moved because I would have liked to have spent more time with them and it would have been fun to have our boys play together (they are only 1 week apart). But thanks for blogs and cell phones because at least we can keep in touch that way. We'll miss them but we are happy for them as they pursue their dreams. I was also able to help one of the women I visit teach by picking her daughter up from school and having her in our home after school for a couple of hours. It was a simple thing but I was so happy she felt comfortable to ask me to help her with this small thing. I appreciated the opportunity to serve her as we often say "Is there anything we can do for you" and it was nice to actually be able to do something, even if it was small, at least it was something. It is a good feeling to help others, to help lighten someone's load, even if just a small bit.

Having people over was once something that caused me a lot of anxiety. Oh you have no idea how much I would stress about this! Looking back it is almost funny, but it physically made me ill. I'd be tense, sweating, shaking; a nervous and awkward mess. I would have to plan weeks in advance every detail. So I share these few social things I hosted because it is proof that people can improve and change. I am so glad that I kept having the missionaries over for dinner even though it about killed my nerves, but they were good to practice on. I am glad I keep trying to reach out and have a family over for dinner every once in an all too great while, because I recognize it is something I need to work on. It is a talent I don't naturally have but I hope to develop and have it some day. My home is sacred to me and I want to protect it and keep it private, and I like the security and comfort I have with my husband and son. But I recognize it is good to be involved with those around us and I want to reach out and have my home open to others. I always appreciate it when my family is welcomed by another, so I realize I should and want to be returning the gesture. I admire those who can so comfortably have people over and make them feel so welcome and comfortable. I hope to some day be able to do this! I hope people feel happy and comfortable in my home, which I recognize could be difficult when I am the hostess and I am fighting my own nerves. I want to be the house that my kids and their friends want to be at. I want our friends and family members to feel comfortable and laugh and have good times in our home. It is a goal and I'm working on it. I may be taking baby steps but they are still steps!


*****